From Stuck to Safe: Eva's 17 Small Nervous System Regulation Tips
- Justin Sunseri, LMFT
- May 13
- 8 min read
You've probably spent a lot of time on trying to get unstuck... with mixed results. Maybe you've done therapy, gone on retreats, been to webinars, or joined a Facebook group (or two or three) and on and on.
You're looking for the thing that gets you unstuck - the hack, the rewiring, the reset, the [fill in the blank]. Tell me I'm wrong.
But there is no quick fix. It's usually a slow process. And there is no hack. Unstucking will probably require a combination of things.
Eva's unstucking success story focuses on exactly that. She was able to raise her Safety Baseline from 2/10 to 7/10 in about six months through a combination of things, many of which were small and practical for anyone.
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Nervous System Regulation Tip 0: Safety is the priority
Eva's 17 nervous system regulation tips helped her come out of shutdown, but I think they're great for any stuck defensive state. No matter what your stuck defensive state is, safety is required to come out of it.
You need a strong foundation of safety to get unstuck. As you practice feeling safe, you build the strength of your ventral vagal safety pathways from your brainstem. As these pathways strengthen, your body's potential to self-regulate out of stuck defense increases.
Many of Eva's tips directly involve safety practices in some way.
Nervous System Regulation Tips: Understanding Your Inner Landscape
Before we dive into specific actions you can take in the external world, there's a lot of good you can do by starting within. Understanding your inner landscape – how your nervous system responds and why – is foundational to unlocking lasting change.
None of these pieces get you unstuck on their own. But by learning to identify what's happening inside you, understanding the science behind it, and shifting your perspective on challenges, you build the essential groundwork for moving from a state of defense to one of genuine safety and regulation.
Name Your State: The first powerful step is often simple: acknowledge and name the defensive state you're in (like flight, fight, or shutdown). Like Eva said about herself, understanding that your body isn't broken or lazy, but is actually trying to protect you, can be a game-changer.
Learn the "Why" (Polyvagal Theory): Educate yourself on the science of safety and connection, like the Polyvagal Theory. Knowing why your body responds the way it does can demystify your experience and shift your focus from self-blame to building safety.
Reframe Setbacks: Understand that setbacks are signals, not failures. They are part of the healing journey, prompting you to return to your toolkit with kindness and compassion, rather than proof that you've failed. Like any change, there are moments of feeling like you're progressing, but also feeling like you're regressing.
Nervous System Regulation Tips: Somatic & Mindful Engagement
Once you've begun to understand the 'what' and 'why' of your nervous system's responses, the next step is to gently engage with your body and your present-moment experience.
These tips focus on practical, body-centered techniques that bypass the often-overwhelming "story" and connect directly with your physical sensations and emotions. Create small, mindful moments of connection and safety.
By learning to listen to your body, engage your senses, and permit your feelings from a place of growing safety, you start to build a new relationship with your inner world – one that is more grounded, present, and regulated.
Start Small with Somatic Exercises: Begin with brief, gentle somatic practices. Think orienting to your room, using soft eye gazes, or practicing longer, calming exhales. These don't require huge effort but can make a difference.
Body First, Story Later: Your direct path to safety often lies in your physical experience. Instead of trying to think your way out, find one small thing that makes your body feel safe or more pleasant – a soft blanket, a warm cup of tea, the presence of a pet. Let your nervous system have that moment.
Gentle Movement: If you're in shutdown like Eva was, intense exercise feels overwhelming. Instead of holding yourself to that standard, try gentle movement. A short, 5-10 minute Tai Chi session (even via YouTube) can be incredibly grounding and accessible, especially when emerging from shutdown. Wiggling your toes or flexing/releasing your muscles can be helpful, too. Start small and gently to help encourage mobility back into your system.
Connect Through Your Senses: Mindfully connect with one of your senses for just 30 seconds or less. Fully attend to the experience – the scent of an orange, the texture of a leaf, the sound of quiet music. Notice how it affects your breathing and muscle tension. Repeat daily. This helps you practice connecting to the present moment.
Permit Your Emotions: Instead of trying to banish difficult feelings, learn to permit them. As a first step, try to visualize them, perhaps as something you can carry with you (like in your pocket), allowing them to be present without overwhelming you as you engage in safety practices. Invite these emotions to be with you while you also do something else.
Mindfully Experience Feelings (from Safety): As you build safety, progress to mindfully connecting with your non-safety feelings directly. This makes the emotions more manageable and even opens the potential for deeper unstucking and nervous system regulation.
Build your small self-regulation habits today.
Many of Eva's tips came from the small mindfulness challenges within the Unstucking Academy. Students get ideas on how to build their mindful connection with themselves, others, and their world through the Daily Growth Hub. Start building your safety state today through these small mindfulness practices, take courses from Justin, and connect with others on the same journey as you.
Nervous System Regulation Tips: Building Your Support System
While the journey to nervous system regulation is deeply personal, it's not a path meant to be walked entirely alone. Our biology is wired for connection, and fostering supportive relationships can be a powerful catalyst for healing and growth.
These tips explore how intentionally building and engaging with a support system – whether through community, professional guidance, or trusted personal connections – can provide the co-regulation, understanding, and encouragement needed to navigate the challenges of getting unstuck and cultivating a deeper sense of safety.
Engage with Community: Share your journey and learn from others who understand. Being part of a supportive community can make you feel less alone, normalize your experiences, and inspire new ideas for your healing.
Seek Professional Guidance: Consider working with a trauma-informed therapist who understands somatic approaches and the Polyvagal Theory. Their expertise can be invaluable.
Practice Co-Regulation: Enlist a trusted friend to practice co-regulation. This could be as simple as walking in nature together, sharing stories, and having someone gently guide you back to a sense of safety if you start to feel dysregulated. Mindfully connect with your pet or even share a smile with the clerk at your local supermarket.
Nervous System Regulation Tips: Consistent Habits & Tools
Understanding your nervous system, engaging somatically, and building support are all vital pieces of the puzzle. However, the real magic happens when these insights and practices are woven into the fabric of your daily life.
Eva's final tips and perhaps the most impactful are dedicated to cultivating the consistent habits and utilizing the practical tools that transform occasional efforts into a sustainable path toward greater regulation and well-being. She recommends creating a reliable toolkit and daily rhythms that reinforce safety, deepen your self-awareness, and support your ongoing journey of getting unstuck.
Take Immediate Micro-Actions: Don't wait for the "perfect" moment. Start with tiny, actionable steps. Build a toolkit of these "micro-practices" that you can turn to daily to access more of yourself. Yes, 30 seconds of mindfulness every day can help!
Journal Your States: Shift your journaling focus from just moods to tracking your Polyvagal states and your perceived level of safety (e.g., on a 0-10 scale). Doing this consistently, even multiple times a day, can reveal progress and patterns.
Read Validating Material: Explore books and resources that resonate with your experience and offer further understanding of trauma and healing (e.g., "The Body Keeps the Score," "Anchored").
Establish Daily Safety Rituals: Create consistent daily rituals that remind your nervous system it's safe. This could include your gentle movement practice, dedicated time in nature, and gratitude or compassion journaling.
Curate Your Content: Be mindful of the information and media you consume. Avoid over-consuming triggering content and ensure you're balancing it with supportive and calming inputs.
Your Path Forward
Increasing your safety baseline is a journey of dedication, one small step at a time. It’s about consistent practice, self-compassion, and building a toolkit that works for you. Like Eva, who moved from a consistent 2/10 in safety to a 7/10, you too can cultivate a greater sense of calm, connection, and presence in your life.
Don't feel you have to tackle all of these at once. Pick one; just one small thing from this list that feels manageable and start there. You have the capacity to begin, and every step, no matter how small, is progress on your path to feeling less stuck and more authentically you.
Q&A
What is Eva's first nervous system regulation tip?
Eva's first tip is to acknowledge and name the defensive state you're in, such as flight, fight, or shutdown. Understanding that your body isn't broken or lazy, but is actually trying to protect you, can be a game-changer.
How can one start engaging with their body and present-moment experience?
What role does community play in the journey to nervous system regulation?
Quotes from this Blog:
You need a strong foundation of safety to get unstuck. As you practice feeling safe, you build the strength of your ventral vagal safety pathways from your brainstem.
Understanding your inner landscape – how your nervous system responds and why – is foundational to unlocking lasting change.
Our biology is wired for connection, and fostering supportive relationships can be a powerful catalyst for healing and growth.
Author Bio:
Justin Sunseri is a licensed Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He hosts the Stuck Not Broken podcast and authored the Stuck Not Broken book series. Justin is passionate about the Polyvagal Theory and proudly serves on the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board. He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.
