I think differently.
Therapists are taught they are the expert and the client is receiving treatment. It's a very medical model to view the process of therapy.
Therapy is not medicine. It's a relationship. A supportive professional relationship, distinct from friendships or family. Yes, therapists are the experts in psychology, but the clients are the experts in their lives. Good therapy is a collaboration between two experts.
Therapists are taught that their clients have an "illness" or a "disorder". It's a very judgmental and evaluative way to view clients.
The problem is not simple: not simply a chemical one. Or a problem with thinking wrongly. Or of simply changing one's behavior. The problem is that the client does not have enough access to their biological pathways for safety and connection, something that only comes from safe environments and relationships, core pieces of what works in therapy.
I'm on an obsessive Polyvagal mission.
Once I learned about and deeply studied the Polyvagal Theory, the way that I understood and practiced therapy changed fundamentally. I see my clients (and myself) now as people that are stuck in an autonomic nervous system state of defense, like flight/fight, freeze or shutdown.
I think the PVT should be standard knowledge for any therapist today. My Polyvagal obsession motivates me to create numerous free resources for therapists or anyone interested. They can all be found on this website, like the podcast and blog.
I think you're stuck. Not broken.
I don't believe you're broken. You might believe that. But I simply can't join you. You can improve your life. You are capable of doing so. The issue here is being stuck. Stuck in a defensive autonomic state: flight, fight, shut down or freeze. You're stuck. Not broken.
There is hope. #stucknotbroken