Increase Safety Feelings through Passive Safety Cues: Polyvagal Theory for Everyday Life #2
- Justin Sunseri, LMFT
- 4 days ago
- 6 min read
You've learned the basics of Polyvagal Theory – how your nervous system shifts between states of safety, fight/flight, and shutdown. But the big question often remains: Now what? How do you actively cultivate more safety in your daily life?
In a previous discussion (or Tip #1, if you're following the series!), we looked at identifying your state. Now, let's take the next practical step: increasing passive safety cues in your environment.
This isn't about complicated "hacks" or forcing yourself to feel safe. It's about gently signaling to the deepest part of your brain that you are, in fact, okay. By the end of this article, you'll understand:
Safety Starts Deeper Than You Think: Meet Your Brainstem
We all want to experience more of that calm, connected safety state. But how do we actually get there, especially when anxiety or shutdown feels overwhelming?
The answer lies in cueing safety – not just telling yourself "I'm safe," but sending signals your brainstem understands. You might consciously know you're not in immediate danger, but if your body is tense, your heart is racing, or you feel numb, the rest of your system hasn't gotten the message.
Why the brainstem? It's the central hub for Polyvagal Theory. It's where signals from your body and the rest of your brain converge, and it makes the call on shifting your autonomic state. It's the brainstem that stays stuck in defensive states, continually keeping the body alert or collapsed.
So, for a moment (or more!), forget the social media "vagus nerve stimulation" techniques. The most fundamental way to leverage Polyvagal Theory is simple: increase the cues of safety your brainstem receives. Give it more safety signals, and it will naturally begin shifting your state away from defense.
Does this instantly resolve deep-seated trauma? No. But consistently feeding your brainstem safety cues builds a crucial foundation. It increases your capacity for safety, giving you the platform needed to eventually process stuck defensive states, if that's your goal.
Your brainstem receives safety signals from three main sources:
Top-Down: From the rest of the brain (e.g., memory, imagination, learning new non-judgmental information like Polyvagal Theory).
Bottom-Up: From the body (e.g., gentle movement, singing, dancing).
Outside-In: From the external world around you, taken in through your senses.
We're focusing on that third category: Outside-In, specifically passive safety cues.
Harnessing Your Environment: Passive Safety Cues
Passive safety cues are elements in your external environment that signal safety to your brainstem without you needing to do anything actively. They work subtly in the background.
The challenge? We can't control much of the outside world – the noise at the grocery store, the crowded lines, the unpredictable weather.
But we do have significant control over our personal spaces: our homes, our rooms, even just a corner of a room. This is where we can intentionally cultivate passive safety. You might not be able to bring the actual beach or forest inside (though wouldn't that be nice?), but you can introduce elements that remind your nervous system of those safe-feeling places.
The goal isn't a magazine-perfect home. It's about making small, intentional adjustments that nudge your system towards feeling safer today than yesterday.
Let's focus on creating a Passive Safety Environment – one dedicated area, maybe just a chair or a small corner, where you intentionally layer these cues. Start small.
Here are three simple ways to increase passive safety cues in your chosen space:
1. Scent: The Invisible Signal
Smell is a powerful, direct route to the brainstem. You likely already have something you can use:
Candles/Diffusers: Do you have a favorite scent? Maybe something calming like lavender, or something evocative of a happy memory? (I recently picked up a coconut-scented candle on a trip to Hawaii, and that scent instantly brings a sense of ease to me.) Light it or diffuse it in your space.
Fresh Air: Simply opening a window for a while can clear the air, creating a "blank slate." If the weather allows, a soft breeze and natural sunlight add even more layers of passive safety.
Find a scent that feels good to your system right now. Once it's there, it works passively in the background.
2. Lighting: Setting the Mood for Safety
Lighting dramatically affects how we feel in a space. Again, start free:
Natural Light: Do you have curtains or blinds? If you tend towards shutdown, you might prefer darkness, which can feel protective. But that's not necessarily safety. See if your system is ready for a tiny bit more light – maybe crack the curtains open slightly. As you feel safer, you might open them more. Listen to your body's response.
Artificial Light: Avoid harsh overhead lighting if possible. Can you use a small lamp instead? If it's too bright, can you dim it, add a shade, or (carefully!) cover it with something heat-resistant (safety first – no fires!). Natural light is often best, but adjustable artificial light is great, too.
Smart Bulbs: If it's within your budget, smart bulbs offer fantastic control over brightness and even color temperature. As evening approaches, you can set them to create a cozy, dim ambiance automatically.
3. Physical Space: Room to Breathe
The physical arrangement and feel of your space matter:
Enough Room: Do you have adequate space to sit, stand, or move comfortably without feeling cramped? Consider what feels right for your body in your passive safety environment. Think about how much space helps you breathe a little easier.
Tidiness & Decluttering: Is your chosen space relatively clear? Or is it cluttered with papers, cords, old coffee cups, or piles of stuff you mean to get to? Clutter can subtly signal chaos or overwhelm to the nervous system. Can you clear your desk? Tidy the area around your chair? Put away stray items? Even a small amount of tidying can make a difference.
Take One Small Step Today
Don't aim for perfection. It's about laying a foundation of safety, one small, sustainable step at a time. Minor changes to your Passive Safety Environment create a space you can return to, a place to breathe easier, calm down, and maybe even smile. From that foundation, exploring other feelings becomes more possible. That's how you get unstuck.
So, what's one thing you can adjust in your chosen space today?
Light that candle?
Open the curtains a crack?
Clear one small pile of clutter?
Hide some messy cords?
Wipe down a dusty surface?
Turn on a soft lamp?
Pick just one. Make it happen. Tomorrow, you can build on it if you feel ready. Small steps, consistently taken, create significant change.
The Unstucking Academy
If you're new to the Polyvagal Theory, looking to deepen your learning, and want to connect with others, then the Foundations Membership is just for you. For only $10/month, you can learn through two courses, join Justin and others in a monthly Q&A, participate in Daily Growth challenges, and discuss with others in the forum.
Q&A
Does simply changing my environment instantly resolve trauma?
No, adjusting your environment with passive safety cues doesn't instantly resolve deep trauma on its own. However, consistently feeding your brainstem these safety signals builds a crucial foundation. It increases your capacity for safety, giving you the platform needed to eventually process stuck defensive states, if that's your goal.
What exactly are "passive safety cues" and how are they different from other safety practices or cues?
What if I don't have much control over my environment?
Is there a place for me to go to learn more about the Polyvagal Theory and connect with others?
Quotes from this Blog:
The most fundamental way to leverage Polyvagal Theory is simple: increase the cues of safety your brainstem receives. Give it more safety signals, and it will naturally begin shifting your state away from defense.
This isn't about complicated 'hacks' or forcing yourself to feel safe. It's about gently signaling to the deepest part of your brain that you are, in fact, okay.
Don't aim for perfection. It's about laying a foundation of safety, one small, sustainable step at a time.
Author Bio:
Justin Sunseri is a licensed Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He hosts the Stuck Not Broken podcast and authored the Stuck Not Broken book series. Justin is passionate about the Polyvagal Theory and proudly serves on the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board. He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.