QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE:
The flavor of your thoughts, the intensity of your thoughts comes from your Polyvagal state… the story of it, the theme of your thoughts, that’s going to come from culture, family, social norms, religious views.
Cognitive themes can be connected to Polyvagal states… the flavor of the thought is different, but the theme is still there.
These themes or these beliefs that are given to us can absolutely keep us down our Polyvagal ladder and limit our potential to climb up it and experience more…
If you can catch your thoughts, notice them… then become curious about what is driving those thoughts… Notice the feeling that is driving that thought.
A thought doesn’t just exist on its own. It pops into your mind without you really summoning it… it’s driven by a [Polyvagal] state.
You may not be used to feeling. You may be ignoring, stuffing down, minimizing or somehow coping as a way to distract yourself from how you feel.
Feelings can be scary. But - eventually, we do need to feel.
You don’t have to. It’s your choice. But if you do nothing different, you probably know how it’s going to go.
What may be seen day to day is anger or irritability, but really there’s other things under there.
Those feelings are there. You do have feelings. Whether or not you feel them, they still affect you and they’re not really going anywhere.
YOUR THOUGHTS KEEP YOU STUCK
What are thoughts?
Words and images that are in your brain
Memories, beliefs, reasoning
I don’t think we control what is in our mind
Kind of pops in and out without us directing it
2+2=?
Where do thoughts come from?
The flavor of your thoughts come from your state (“Story Follows State” from PVT101)
The theme of your thoughts come from: culture, family, social norms, religious views
Teach you how the world is, how your family is, how you are
Can be limiting, like social norms for your gender and what can be accomplished or felt
I was told that my family had less
Made selling my course very difficult
Themes become connected to polyvagal defensive states
If others have more than me and my family, then there is no point in trying from a shutdown state
Likewise, it might result in jealousy or resentment thoughts from fight
“You didn’t earn it”
From safety, you can think about earning more while others do the same or even partnering with others to earn together
YOU NEED TO FEEL
Thoughts are a clue to your state
Thoughts can be caught
Notice, then become curious about what is driving that
A coach or therapist or other person can catch them
Notice the feeling driving the thought
And then the state driving the feeling through somatic sensations
Feeling can be scary, intimidating
You may not be used to feeling, you may be ignoring or stuffing or coping somehow
But eventually, we need to feel
“Feel the feelings” isn’t easy
When ready
Often layers to feeling
Bits at a time
One layer can uncover another
Anger isn’t just anger
Not because there is something wrong with you
We all do this
It’s just hard to feel
Even if you really really want to
Might not even see the issue
The feelings are there
They just are
So…
Building Safety Anchors -https://www.justinlmft.com/bsa
Polyvagal 101 Class - https://www.justinlmft.com/PVT101
Become a $5 Patron - https://www.patreon.com/justinlmft
Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats
National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255
National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
Call 911 for emergency
This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health sx. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.