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Are you familiar with the term "Polyvagal safety"? If not, don't worry - you're not alone. But it's an important concept to understand if you're dealing with trauma or emotional dysregulation. I'll explain the difference between accessing your Polyvagal safety state and coping with emotional dysregulation, and how you can utilize both. (You'll need to head to this Polyvagal Intro page if you're brand new to the Polyvagal Theory.) What are we talking about? First, let's define some terms. The Polyvagal Theory suggests that our autonomic nervous system has three branches responsible three different states: safety & social engagement, flight & fight mobility and shutdown immobility. If you want a more academic look at these states, I of course recommend the primary source himself, Dr. Stephen Porges . (Have a dictionary handy.) The Polyvagal state of safety and social engagement is central to your ability to feel things like: calm, relaxation, play and connection with yourself and others. Polyvagal safety vs Coping So, what's the difference between accessing your Polyvagal safety state and coping with emotional dysregulation? Coping involves using techniques to manage uncomfortable emotions, while accessing your polyvagal safety state involves actually experiencing a state of calm and connection. Examples of coping would be counting things in the environment, breathing exercises, fidgets , distraction through media and so on. Coping techniques can be helpful in the moment, but they don't necessarily address the underlying issues that are causing emotional dysregulation. Accessing your safety state can look similar, but is fundamentally different. Safety means you are activating the ventral vagal pathways and able to experience connection. Being in safety means bringing a level mindfulness and present-momentness to what you're doing. So instead of fidgeting in panic, you would fidget from curiosity and actually experience what's like to use that fidget. How to tell if you are coping or in safety There are some key ways to identify the difference: 1. One way to determine if you're accessing your polyvagal safety state or just coping is to ask yourself if you're mindfully experiencing your sensory experience . Are you able to notice what your senses are telling you and how it's affecting you? Or are you simply distracting yourself with coping techniques like holding an ice cube or doing breathing exercises? 2. Another indicator is curiosity . Are you curious about your inner experience, or are you just trying to make uncomfortable feelings go away? If you're curious, it suggests that you're well anchored in your safety state. If you're trying to make uncomfortable feelings go away, it suggests that you're in a more defensive state. It is eventually possible to actually welcome and experience those uncomfortable feelings, something you can learn and practice in depth through Unstucking Defensive States . 3. A third indicator is the impulse to connect . When we're in our safety state, we have an impulse to connect with others or with ourselves. If you find yourself wanting to connect with others or take a break to breathe and connect with yourself, it suggests that you're grounded in your safety state. Transitioning from coping to safety Of course, transitioning from coping to accessing your polyvagal safety state is easier said than done. It's okay to segment and just deal with the situation at hand through various coping mechanisms. You will likely take this information and reflect on yourself, but with evaluation and not curiosity. That's normal. As best you can, invite some curiosity into your system and notice when you are coping compared to when you are actually grounded in your safety state. Accessing your polyvagal safety state is about more than just coping with uncomfortable emotions. It's about experiencing a state of calm and connection, and it's a key part of trauma recovery. By being mindful of your sensory experience, staying curious, and following your impulse to connect, you can begin to access your Polyvagal safety state and find relief from emotional dysregulation. If you think you are ready to get to the next level in your trauma recovery, I created a multi-phase System that will address everything you need. Not just my courses, but a private community that meets twice a month virtually with me for open Q&A. You won't be alone in your recovery and will never have to wonder if you are understanding the material or not. It's called the Polyvagal Trauma Relief System, find out more here or contact me through email if you have questions about it - justinlmft@gmail.com Q&A from this blog How do I know if I'm truly in a state of safety versus just coping with my emotions? Three ways: are you able to notice your sensory experience? Are you curious? And do you want connection with yourself and/or others? Is it possible to transition from coping to experiencing mindful curiosity in my safety state, and if so, how? It is, but not easily. At first, you might cope with your dysegulation. Once that is "under control" enough, you can do some safety anchoring and ground in your safety state. Can the Polyvagal Trauma Relief System help me build the strength of my safety state and learn to access my curiosity in a more grounded way? Heck yes. The second phase of PTRS is all about building the safety state. This phase is consistently overlooked in therapy and other trauma-informed practices, modalities and service-providers. Author Bio: Justin Sunseri is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He is the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast , and author of the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm . He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.

Trauma can leave a deep impact on an individual's mental and emotional well-being. The effects of trauma can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I'm a trauma-informed therapist and coach and I understand that recovery is not a linear process. I'll explain why understanding the non-linear process of change is crucial for trauma recovery and offer some tips to navigate the journey you might be on. Why is it important to understand the non-linear process of change in trauma recovery? Trauma can make it challenging to access or maintain a state of safety, which is crucial for recovery. When the safety state is active, it functions as a brake. It keeps the individual's heart rate at a calmer pace, something that Dr. Porges termed the "vagal brake." The myelinated vagus functions as an active vagal brake (see Porges et al., 1996 ) in which rapid inhibition and disinhibition of vagal tone to the heart can rapidly mobilize or calm an individual. The myelinated vagus actively inhibits the sympathetic nervous system’s influences on the heart... -Porges, The Polyvagal Perspective Translation - The newer mammalian vagal pathways calm the heart. When the heart rate is calmer, then flight/fight activation is kept at bay until actually needed. The vagal brake is essential in helping someone to exist in their state of safety and social engagement. Frustratingly, it's also the thing that someone living in trauma is unable to access. Remember, trauma means that one is stuck down their Polyvagal ladder in a defensive state. The vagal brake must be developed and strengthened for unstucking to occur. However, developing the vagal brake is not a linear process. Trauma can cause obstacles, both external and internal, that make it difficult to maintain progress. By understanding that recovery is not a linear pro cess, individuals can prepare themselves for setbacks and challenges along the way. They can approach the journey with more patience and compassion, both for themselves and for others. It's important to recognize that progress may not always be visible, and setbacks are a normal part of the change process. It may feel like you are taking a step or two forward, then a step or two back. Or maybe even more. This is typical for any type of change. When it comes to trauma recovery, it may be. more pronounced and frustrating. The stronger the vagal brake, the less intense the setbacks will be. The path of recovery opens up and becomes more clear. What are some obstacles that individuals may face during trauma recovery? External obstacles may include real-life safety concerns, like a lack of co-regulation at home, unsafe neighborhood or a difficult work environment. These external factors will make vagal brake development more difficult. Internal obstacles will include chronic illnesses, cognitions that reinforce a stuck state and emotions that are too intolerable for the individual to experience fully. These will also make vagal brake development more difficult. Additionally, individuals may experience emotional and physical discomfort as they work to gain more access to their safety state. As they become more grounded in the present moment, they may shift out of their shutdown state and into their fight or sympathetic state. This can be uncomfortable and may manifest as anger or discomfort, which can make it challenging to maintain progress. So basically, even when successful and the vagal brake is strengthened, it may open up some dysregulation due to stuck defensive states attempting to release the frozen trauma or climb the Polyvagal ladder. New sensations, impulses, emotions, and cognitions may emerge, something that I break down in my SSIEC sheet for you below. How can you navigate your trauma recovery? Okay, so we know that recovery is not linear. We know that it's going to be challenge, but there are ways to dampen the impact. Practice self-compassion: Be gentle and patient with yourself during the recovery process as best you can. Recognize that setbacks are a normal part of the change process, and progress may not always be visible. Validate your experiences and normalize them for what they are. Your feelings are true. And they make sense. Seek support: It's essential to have a support system in place during trauma recovery. This may include therapy, support groups, or trusted friends and family members. I don't think it needs to be a support system that is built around trauma recovery. It may simply be a group of like-minded people that can be with each other nonjudgmentally. This social engagement is essential in vagal brake development. My community of course students connect with each other and with me during our twice-monthly virtual meetups and our private discussion group. These connections are open to anyone enrolled in my PTRS courses . Focus on the present moment: Practicing mindfulness and staying grounded in the present moment can help individuals stay on track during the recovery process. This can include using the senses to ground oneself in the present moment. This is also essential in vagal brake development. Being in the present moment means you are in your safety state. Continually return to the present moment, especially when there is mild dysregulation. Put in the reps: Yes, there will be obstacles along the way. At the same time, recovering from these obstacles are essential in vagal brake development. One kinda needs to have challenges and then recover from those challenges mindfully. This exercises the individual's Polyvagal ladder climbing. Just like working out every day in order to run faster - you need to practice running and push yourself further, but then also allow for recovery time. Then do the same thing all over again. At first, you may just practice being in safety , then eventually practice feeling your stuck state as you are ready for it. Normalize your recovery journey Recovering from trauma is not a linear process, and it's important to understand that setbacks and challenges are a normal part of the journey. By practicing self-compassion, seeking support, and focusing on the present moment and putting in reps, individuals can navigate the non-linear process of change more effectively. Remember, progress may not always be visible, but with time and effort, individuals can methodically move towards healing and growth. Q&A: How long does it typically take to recover from trauma? The recovery time for trauma can vary depending on the severity of the trauma and the individual's circumstances. Recovery is not a linear process, and it may take months or even years to achieve a sense of healing and growth. Common factors for more rapid recovery are: more access to the safety state and a stronger vagal brake, having connection with others, having safety in the environment, having productive things to be a part of. Is it possible to fully recover from trauma? I think so! Though what is meant by "fully recover" might mean something different between you and me. I think trauma of course always affects someone, but it doesn't have to be a debilitating life obstacle. The impact of it changes. The meaning of it changes. I generally think one can live in a state of safety and social engagement and live a fulfilling life. I believe this so much that I created my own System to teach people how to do so. What are some other techniques for accessing a state of safety in trauma recovery? Other techniques for accessing a state of safety may include deep breathing exercises, visualizations, guided meditations, and progressive muscle relaxation. It's essential to find what works best for each individual's unique needs and circumstances. I don't think there is one answer for everyone, though there may be commonalities. About Justin: Justin Sunseri is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He is the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast , and author of the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm . He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.

The Polyvagal Theory serves as a validating and normalizing knowledge base for anyone, but maybe especially for that person that is stuck in a traumatized state. Stuck. Not Broken! If you're new to the Theory, this is an easy and free starting point here on my site. If you're familiar with the Theory, it's still a good idea to brush up on your knowledge, especially from the primary sources. The PsychAlive video below feature's the Polyvagal Theory's creator, Dr. Stephen Porges. I'll share 3 key takeaways and my thoughts as well. #1: The upside down triangle Our nervous system functions like an upside-down triangle, with the brain circuits being regulated in the brainstem that control our underlying state. But the brainstem also receives information from the body. The polyvagal theory provides us with an understanding of three neural circuits that support different types of behavior. -Stephen Porges The Polyvagal Theory highlights that our behaviors, emotions, thoughts and interpersonal interactions are supported by the state that our body is in. There are three neural circuits that support different types of behavior: social engagement behaviors in safe environments, fight or flight mobilization in dangerous situations, and the third circuit of shutdown for life-threatening situations. The state of the body affects the state of the brainstem, which affects the potentials of the brain and its higher functions. Likewise, the brain's cognitions will affect the brainstem, which will affect the state of the body. It's a self-perpetuating loop with the brainstem being at the center of it all. "When we're in safe states, we can access higher cortical functions. When we're in danger states, those systems turn off and we're defensive." To change the stuck defensive loop of trauma, the individual needs to get in alignment with their body's natural inclination toward self-regulation. I break this down into three large phases: learning accurate information, like the Polyvagal Theory. This lays a foundation for non-judgment and validation of the self. It also allows for new narrative-building. Identify, practice and build the neural circuits for safety and social engagement, the ventral vagal pathways. Once the ventral pathways are strong enough, then allow for the natural compulsion of self-regulation through mindfully experiencing the stuck defensive state. This 3 phase process is covered in detail in my comprehensive Polyvagal Trauma Relief System . #2: Neurobiological responses Our responses to different environments, relationships and contexts are not voluntary, as our nervous system picks up information from the environment and evaluates that information on a subconscious, neurobiological level. (BTW, I really enjoyed when Dr. Porges stumbles on the word "subconscious" and says "if we want to bring that term back".) Our senses detect various levels of safety or danger in the environment. Then our brainstem uses that information to shift up or down the Polyvagal Ladder into a state of defense or safety. None of this is conscious and self-determined. These are responses that are encoded into our DNA, passed down from generations of successful evolutionary survival. This means that we may feel our heart pounding in certain environments, and that's our nervous system reacting to cues in the environment that we may not be aware of. Or maybe there's a certain smell in the environment that's a trigger for defense. Or a certain person. #3: Co-regulation Social interaction is a neural exercise of using newer mammalian structures to inhibit very primitive defensive systems. Being in the state of safety calms the defensive states. This is a biological process. And one can get into a state of safety through interactions with safe others. This means that the way we interact with others can help to regulate our nervous system, especially in safe environments where we can use our face, intonation, or voice to negotiate relationships and maintain safety. Safe others + safe environments are key ingredients for Polyvagal ladder-climbing. However, if we don't have experiences of "using people" to regulate in a pro-social positive way, people can be perceived to be threatening. Even people who are not threatening might be perceived that way from a defensive state. Him saying "using people" might sound like a negative thing. But really, he's referring to our body's natural capacity to receive cues of safety from safe people around us. It's not an intentional using of others in a selfish way. It's more like neurobiologically receiving cues of safety from safe others. Doing so builds the strength of those very important ventral vagal safety pathways. And doing that allows us to then provide cues of safety to others perpetuating the co-regulation offering over generations. Stephen Porges Quotes from the video: If you have a history in which there are no experiences of using people to regulate in a very pro-social positive way, people will then become threatening or damaging to you. The polyvagal theory provides us with an understanding of three neural circuits that support different types of behavior. When we're in safe states, we can access higher cortical functions. When we're in danger states, those systems turn off and we're defensive. I'm talking about three states that provide a neural platform for a great diversity of expression. But what if we can't get away from the danger?... The possibility is we could trigger a 3rd circuit, which shuts us down. Q&A Q: What is social interaction according to the Polyvagal Theory? A: According to the Polyvagal Theory, social interaction is a neural exercise of using newer mammalian structures to inhibit very primitive defensive systems. Q: What triggers our defensive responses according to the Polyvagal Theory? A: According to the Polyvagal Theory, our senses detect various levels of safety or danger in the environment, and our brainstem uses that information to shift up or down the Polyvagal Ladder into a state of defense or safety. Q: How can an individual change the stuck defensive loop of trauma according to the Polyvagal Trauma Relief System? A: An individual needs to go through the 3 phases of the System , which are: learning accurate information, building the neural circuits for safety and social engagement, and allowing for the natural compulsion of self-regulation through mindfully experiencing the stuck defensive state. Dr. Stephen Porges Stephen W. Porges, Ph.D. is Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University where he is the founding director of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium. He is Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, and Professor Emeritus at both the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He has published more than 400 peer-reviewed papers across several disciplines. In 1994 he proposed the Polyvagal Theory, which is now leading to innovative treatments based on insights into the mechanisms mediating symptoms observed in several behavioral, psychiatric, and physical disorders. Dr. Porges has written or co-edited several books on the Polyvagal Theory and is the creator of the the Safe and Sound Protocol™. Read more here > PsychAlive PsychAlive.org is a non-profit website that offers psychology for everyday life. The PsychAlive YouTube channel features interviews with experts in the field of mental health. Video topics include mindfulness, self-development, relationship advice, attachment, parenting, suicide prevention and other key topics in psychology. PsychAlive is funded by the non-profit The Glendon Association. Learn more at PsychAlive or Glendon.org. Visit the YouTube channel here > Justin Sunseri Justin Sunseri is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He is the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast , and author of the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm . He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.

If you're living in trauma, you may be familiar with shutdown. This is a Polyvagal state where you feel immobilized and disconnected, often described as emptiness or numbness. It can be difficult to come out of this state, but there are ways to slowly build up your distress tolerance and begin to feel more connected again. Understand Shutdown The first step is to understand what shutdown is as a biological state of your body. Shutdown is a survival response, something that evolved to help the organism survive life threat. Even though we typically are not in actual life or death situations, this dorsal vagal system still exists within us and is active throughout the day to some degree. These biological pathways are responsible for immobilization. Think of it like playing dead. Doing so increases the chances of survival by conserving the body's resources through slowed heart rate, breathing and metabolism. You can get a deeper dive into shutdown in this chapter of my free ebook - Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm. When you're in shutdown, your body is trying to increase your chances of survival by conserving energy and minimizing movement. This state is different from freeze, which is a mixed state of immobilization and mobilization. This is a key differentiation and something that is often confused . Coming out of shutdown is possible The good news is that there are ways to slowly come out of shutdown and begin to feel more connected to the world around you. One key aspect is to build up the ventral vagal safety pathways, which are responsible for feeling safe and connected. As you build the strength of your Polyvagal safety state, this allows for the possibility of your body's natural capacity for self-regulation. This is otherwise known as Polyvagal ladder -climbing, a concept from Deb Dana . You can build the strength of your safety state through doing things that bring you a stronger sense of being in the present moment. Things that bring you to calm and connection. Things that allow your shutdown state to exist without getting sucked into the dysregulation of shutdown. It's completely okay to exist in a shutdown state. Coming out of shutdown is really only possible once you first allow it. But there's a big difference between allowing shutdown to exist mindfully and wallowing in it. They look and feel much different. Allow shutdown Allowing the shutdown means letting it be there without getting sucked into it. A normal part of shutdown is the impulse to be alone and to reduce stimulation. I you get sucked into it, it may look like locking yourself in a room with the lights off and sleeping all day. But it is possible to allow the impulses of shutdown and to do so mindfully. Validate that you are having that impulse to be alone and reduce stimulation. Normalize the context of that impulse. And then allow yourself to fulfill that need. If you allow yourself to be alone in shutdown mindfully, that's called solitude. If you are in shutdown defensively, that's called isolation . Being in solitude might mean you pick the safest spot in your home and turn the lights down. Or open the blinds. You should probably set your phone aside. Maybe have quiet or music that is anchoring for you in your safety state . And then experience what it's like to first anchor yourself in safety. And then what it's like to allow shutdown to be present and actually experience it for what it is. From curiosity. I recommend stillness for shutdown, but movement is okay too. Your form of solitude might be going for a slow-paced walk by yourself. Or walking your dog. Mindfully noticing the environment on your walk and being curious about what you discover. Stretching and yoga are good too. Or just being still and using your sense to orient to the environment. It's likely that as you stay anchored in your safety state, stillness will be the result as it mixes with your shutdown state. This is called a Polyvagal mixed state. Coming out of shutdown is a slow process. It's important to remember that coming out of shutdown is a slow process and cannot be forced. Shutdown is a state of conservation. It's evolutionary intention is to slow down and conserve the body's resources. Emerging from shutdown and into sympathetic flight/fight is best done slowly. You may not be familiar with the sensations, emotions, cognitions and impulses of flight/fight. Allowing these back into your system is probably best. This builds the body's capacity to not only allow this energy back into the system, but to harness and use it appropriately. Otherwise, it's common to emerge from shutdown and feel chronic irritation . You may snap at the people you care about. Be more aggressive than usual. That's because fight is actually the first shift that needs to happen. From shutdown into fight and then into flight. And then eventually into the safety state at the top of the Polyvagal ladder. If you're struggling with shutdown, it's important to remember that you're not alone. Many people who have experienced trauma struggle with chronically existing in this state. With time and patience, you can begin to come out of shutdown and feel more connected to the world around you. If you think you are ready to work on trauma recovery, I created a System for you. It's called the Polyvagal Trauma Relief System and includes not only clear and accessible teachings, not only bi-monthly virtual meetups with me, but also a private community to connect with. Phases 2 and 3 of my System will be helpful with recovering from shutdown. Phase 2 is building the strength of your safety state. And phase 3 is directly experiencing the shutdown with curiosity and allowing self-regulation to occur. Q&A What is shutdown and how does it differ from freeze? Shutdown is a biological response that evolved to help organisms survive life-threatening situations by conserving energy and minimizing movement. It differs from freeze, which is a mixed state of immobilization and mobilization. Read more about this here > How can one come out of shutdown? A: One way to come out of shutdown is to build up the ventral vagal safety pathways, which are responsible for feeling safe and connected. This can be achieved through activities that bring a sense of calm and connection and allow the shutdown state to exist without causing dysregulation. It is important to allow shutdown to exist mindfully without getting sucked into it, and to validate the impulse to be alone and reduce stimulation. This process takes time and cannot be forced. What is the Polyvagal Trauma Relief System, and how can it help with recovery from shutdown? A: The Polyvagal Trauma Relief System is a system I created that provides clear and accessible teachings, bi-monthly virtual meetups, and a private community to connect with. Phases 2 and 3 of the system are helpful for recovering from shutdown, as they involve building the strength of the safety state and directly experiencing shutdown with curiosity to allow self-regulation to occur. Author Bio: Justin Sunseri is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He is the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast , and author of the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm . He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states. Quotes from this blog: Shutdown is a survival response, something that evolved to help the organism survive life threat. Coming out of shutdown is really only possible once you first allow it. With time and patience, you can begin to come out of shutdown and feel more connected to the world around you. As you build the strength of your Polyvagal safety state, this allows for the possibility of your body's natural capacity for self-regulation. If you allow yourself to be alone in shutdown mindfully, that's called solitude. If you are in shutdown defensively, that's called isolation.

Anxiety is not just an emotional or cognitive experience but something that is happening on a biological level. Fortunately, there are practical things you can do for managing anxiety in your daily life. I'll cover what anxiety truly is and 5 simple techniques you can use today to get relief from your anxiety. In this blog: Anxiety: what it really is Anxiety & the Flight state 5 tips for decreasing anxiety with a bonus 6th Putting all of the pieces together Anxiety: What it really is Depending on who you ask, anxiety could be a number of things. I have something very specific in mind. But you may have heard that anxiety is a chemical imbalance a character defect, like not being strong enough a hereditary condition a survival response the influence of the devil From the point of view of the neuroscience of the Polyvagal Theory, anxiety is something much more specific and understandable. If you're brand new to the Polyvagal Theory, start with this page of free basic information and resources. Anxiety is the Emotion. Sympathetic Flight is the biology. Anxiety is the emotional experience of being stuck in a Polyvagal state of flight . If one can't be safe and connected with themself and others, like in a dangerous situation, then they shift into a mobile state to escape. This is called flight and is a sympathetic response. If that person cannot act on that impulse to escape, then the impulse remains in their system and is experienced as anxiety. Or nervousness, worrying, anticipation and rumination. When you experience anxiety, don't you kind of want to leave whatever situation you're in? You probably want to get away, to make space and get to safety. Somewhere predictable and less stimulating. Getting relief from and managing anxiety So getting relief from anxiety is not an issue of making it go away. Not exactly. That could be the natural result of my 5 tips, though. Instead, the goal is to utilize your body's natural potential for being in its safety state and/or using the activation of your flight state. 5 tips for relieving anxiety: Anxiety relief needs to be through practical techniques you can implement quickly and easily when you need to. Things that can be done in your day to day life. Here are my 5 anxiety relievers with a bonus 6th: create a safer environment mindful and effective fidgeting mindful and effective movement use your breath validate, normalize and give permission the basics: rest, diet, exercise Tip 0: the basics (a bonus but fundamental tip) First, do the absolute bare-bones basics: eating a good enough diet, getting enough movement in your life and getting enough sleep. There's more (like connecting with others), but I'll just focus on these three. Do you need to eat a completely healthy diet and never have junk food? I don't think so. Are you not allowed to stay up late and finish binge-watching something? I don't think so. And do you need to be going to the gym daily? I don't think so. But having structure in your life can allow for predictability. Predictability is a cue of safety and can reduce the potential of existing in a Polyvagal flight state. Getting enough movement provides the possibility of mindfully experiencing cues of safety from your environment, like the chirps of birds or the warmth of sun on a walk. Okay, now my 5 tips: Tip 1: Create a saf er environment Your environment (even the one that you are in right now) affects your neuroception of safety or danger. Basically, your senses pick up on stimuli from the environment. These stimuli are sent to your brainstem, where it detects levels of safety or danger. The brainstem then shifts into or out of your safe & social state. Therefore - increase your potential of existing in a safety state and reducing your flight activation by increasing the cues of safety that you're surrounded by. I don't need you to overhaul your space, like painting your walls or buying new furniture. What I recommend in Building Safety Anchors is to identify one piece of your home environment to work on. I chose my home office. BSA students have chosen a corner of one room. Things to do immediately to create a safer environment: Basically, choose one space to begin with and increase the cues of safety. Here are some simple starting points: clear up any clutter and crumbs get the lighting to your liking organize or tidy up remove knick-knacks that don't provide you with a sense of calm add knick-knacks or replace ones to increase feelings of calm The same goes for your work environment. If you have control over something at your desk or in an office, make use of it! I've added lighting and fake plants to my non-private practice office spaces. Even if you can't buy something new, use the cues in the list above to start brainstorming. The point here is not to feel happy. The point here is to create a space for yourself that allows you to breathe easier and reduce anxiety. Tip 2: Use your anxiety with fidgets If you're in a flight state and feeling anxious, then doesn't it make sense to actually use your body's energy for movement? I'm not recommending that you get up and run. I mean, you can. It's an option, sure. But it can be simpler and less potentially embarrassing. Fidgets! Experiment from curiosity with fidgets I recommend experimenting with various fidgets, but choose one or two that spark something within you. Just a general sense of "liking" it. It doesn't need to cause you happiness. It will probably be more of a feeling of relief. Or maybe soothing. Or even calm. That's what we're looking for. Something you can mindfully utilize, maybe even discreetly. It might be a fidget that you carry around in your pocket and squeeze during a meeting or at a pot-luck. Fidgeting with curiosity can help to relieve the anxious feelings of your flight state. But you need to actually mindfully do so. Experience the fidget with as much mindfulness as you can. Further learning on fidgets: I actually wrote an entire blog on fidgets that you can read here , including some recommended ones. My Unstucking Defensive States students have access to an exclusive video on how I and my clients use my fidgets from my private practice office. Tip 3: Use your anxiety with movement But hey, you might need more than fidgets. Maybe you need to get up and move. This is where a bigger type of movement might come in handy. Relieve anxiety with mindful movement There is no one right way to move to relieve anxiety. You will need to experiment within your movement potential from curiosity. Here's a few simple and practical options: take a walk mindfully flex and release your muscles mindfully run or bike All of these are bigger muscle movements that can help to release some flight energy in your system. As with fidgeting, do so mindfully. That means you need to actually allow yourself to be curious and experience what it's like to use your muscles. So get up and move. When you do so, actually notice and experience what it's like for your muscles to move. Like if you're going out on a walk, experience your foot pushing off of the ground and your calf flexing, your knee bending and so on. One thing connects to another. Just notice these mini moments. On top of this, mindfully notice your breath and what passive safety cues are in your environment. I recommend just noticing one thing at a time and soaking it in as best you can. Tip 4: Using your breath There's lots of breath work recommendations out there. I don't like to give a specific regimen for breathing. It seems like your body is able to know how to breathe and what it needs in the moment. So one option is to just let it breathe the way that it already knows it needs to. But - you guessed it - allow it to do so mindfully. When you do, it gives your body permission to breathe the way it already knows how to and allows for self-regulation. This can allow some Polyvagal ladder climbing to happen naturally. The other option with your breath is to be more directive of it. Breathe while extending your exhale technique When someone has more anxiety in their body, it may help to slow their exhale and activate the body's natural potential for calm through extending the exhale. Here's how to do so: Take in a breath mindfully and into your belly if you can, but this isn't necessary. I recommend doing so through your nose if you can, buy also not necessary. Pause ever so briefly, if comfortable. Breathe out through your mouth like you're blowing out a birthday candle, but way slower. Basically, extend your exhale longer than you normally would and longer than your inhale. Repeat. I like to trust that my body knows how and when to take the next inhale, so I don't rush it. I think it's totally okay to breathe in the way your body wants to breathe in. If that's into your chest, that's fine. Just allow it mindfully, then extend your exhale. That's the key to this. When you breathe out, it activates the parasympathetic system of your safety state. So extending the exhale allows the safety state to be present a bit longer. Let yourself settle into it as your body relaxes. This simple breathing technique can be done anywhere, shouldn't be a big deal that other people notice. Tip 5: Validate, Normalize, Give Permission How about some top-down state regulation? I think going top-down is usually difficult, even though cognitive reframes tend to be where therapists and advice-givers go. Like if you just change the way you think, then it'll make you feel better. But as you know, when you're anxious, it's probably very difficult to direct your thoughts where you want them to go. So just changing your thoughts is not a magic pill. Especially the deeper you get into anxiety. But there are a few potential cognitions that can be helpful. 3 thoughts to lower anxiety These are three mind to body thoughts you can use to reduce your anxiety when the anxiety is manageable. The three cognitions are: validation of your anxiety emotion normalization of your anxiety context giving permission for the anxiety to exist Tip 5a: Validate your anxiety. " Validating " just means acknowledging that the anxiety is real and is happening. Not judging it, not dismissing it. Not minimizing it. Just saying, "Okay, I am feeling anxiety. It's real." That's it. Just like if a friend were talking about their own anxiety and you validated it by saying, "Sounds like anxiety to me!" Tip 5b: Normalize your anxiety. " Normalizing " means making sense of your anxiety within the context of the moment and/or of your life. Basically answering this question - " Does your anxiety make sense?" It could be about that specific moment. Like seeing someone from your past you really didn't want to be around again. You may have anxiety when you see them or hear their voice (this feeling is telling you to leave the situation). The anxious feeling makes sense and perhaps should even be acted on. But maybe you hear the voice of someone that reminds you of that past other person. That person isn't there, but the voice is close enough to trigger the anxiousness that would accompany hearing or seeing that person. This also makes sense based on the larger context of your life. You could also ask yourself if anyone else with your life context and in this specific situation would likely also feel the same sort of feeling. That's another form of normalization. Tip 5c: Give your anxiety permission to be. Since your anxiety makes sense (normal) and is real (valid), the next step is to simply give it permission to be there. I'm not saying you let it be there chaotically and ruminate. Remember, these top-down tips are for when the anxiety is not out of control. It's manageable. Permission means you recognize the anxiety is there and isn't going anywhere. You simply let it be there while you also do something that helps your to anchor yourself in your Polyvagal state of safety and social engagement. I like to recommend using a visualization. It might sound like this - "I see you, anxiety. I can't force you to go away, so I'll stick you in my pocket and let you hang out with me while I [fill in your safety anchor here]." Bring all the pieces together These pieces individually can be very helpful. Do the tip(s) that you feel the most hope and potential in. But you can also bring them all together. Here's how to do so when you notice a tolerable level of anxiety: beforehand, create a space in your life that is providing passive cues of safety that you can turn to when needed (or just practice being in safety) when you notice the tolerable anxiety: validate, normalize and give permission go to your safety environment if needed to reduce environmental overwhelm mindfully use a fidget or movement or mindfully use your breath allow the anxious feeling to be present as you also anchor yourself in safety if you are able to, be a witness to the internal sensations, images, emotions and cognitions (SSIEC) If anxiety is a bigger problem for you, I recommend my Building Safety Anchors course. The priority of BSA is to strengthen the biological pathways responsible for feeling safety. These pathways are essential to being able to remain grounded in your body and not get caught up in the swirl of anxiety and panic. Unstucking Defensive States is a great course for actually learning how to feel and self-regulate through anxiety. I don't recommend UDS unless you are able to stay anchored in your safety state through BSA. Learn the Polyvagal Theory basics The Polyvagal Intro page easily and clearly teaches you about the Polyvagal Theory. It also provides links to deepen your learning. Quotes from this blog: "Anxiety is the Emotion. Sympatheitc flight is the biology." "...getting relief from anxiety is not an issue of making it go away. Not exactly. That could be the natural result of my 5 tips though. Instead, the goal is to utilize your body's natural potential for being in its safety state and/or using the activation of your flight state." "when you're anxious, it's probably very difficult to direct your thoughts where you want them to go. So just changing your thoughts is not a magic pill. Especially the deeper you get into anxiety." Q&A What is anxiety according to the Polyvagal Theory? According to the Polyvagal Theory, anxiety is the emotional experience of being stuck in a state of flight. If one can't feel safe and connected with themselves and others, like in a dangerous situation, then they shift into a mobile state to escape. This is called flight and is a sympathetic response. If that person cannot act on that impulse to escape, then the impulse remains in their system and is experienced as anxiety, nervousness, worrying, anticipation, and rumination. What are some practical tips to relieve anxiety? A: There are five practical tips mentioned in this blog to relieve anxiety. Besides basic self-care, create a safer environment to trigger passive cues of safety. Second, create a safer environment by increasing the cues of safety that you're surrounded by. Third, use fidgets to relieve the anxious feelings of your flight state. Fourth, use bigger muscle movements like walking or running to release some flight energy in your system. Fifth, validate, normalize, and give permission to your anxiety to be there while you anchor yourself in safety. What are the Building Safety Anchors and Unstucking Defensive States courses? Building Safety Anchors (BSA) is a course that strengthens the biological pathways responsible for feeling safety. These pathways are essential to being able to remain grounded in your safety state and not get caught up in the swirl of anxiety and panic. Unstucking Defensive States (UDS) teaches how to feel and self-regulate through anxiety. Author Bio: Justin wrote the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm and receives 150k monthly downloads as the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast. He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states as a therapist and coach. Learn what makes Justin different > Contact Justin >

I want to reframe what anger is for you. Yes, it's an emotion. And yes, it's an emotion that indicates other things going on emotionally, like hurt, embarrassment, or even sadness. You might feel angry often. Maybe more often than not. I want to share with you why that is and what you can do about it. The answer to this lies in understanding the connection between anger and the Polyvagal Theory. Anger and Polyvagal Theory? Huh? Yep, this is the place to start. I'll keep it brief here, but I have lots of free resources for you to go even deeper, like my Polyvagal Intro page on my website here. What is the Polyvagal Theory? In essence, The Polyvagal Theory hypothesizes that the autonomic nervous system has three distinct biological states. Each serves the overall function of ensuring survival of the organism (humans for our purpose). But each biological state provides its own mechanism to ensure survival: social engagement and optimal functioning in a safety state mobilization in a flight/fight state immobilization in a shutdown or freeze state. The Polyvagal Fight State Fight is in the mobilization state, along with flight. They both evolved within us to mobilize to safety. With flight, that means running and escaping. With fight, that means getting closer to the danger in order to get it to back off, then using flight to escape. A stuck Polyvagal fight state 2 paths to getting stuck Path 1 is from an acute life-threat reaction. While the fight state is a natural response to danger, us human beings have a tendency to get stuck in it due to traumatic events. This could be a trauma where the individual went to their fight state, but were also immobilized in it. This would be a shock trauma. Path 2 is a chronic disruption of connectedness Or it could also be from a chronic disruption of connectedness, where the impulse to connect was repeatedly severed and left the person in a fight state, maybe because they needed to exist in fight to get their needs met. Why we have a Polyvagal Fight State Fight evolved within us to be used in short bursts of movement, like pushing, lifting, throwing or hitting, for example. But when someone is stuck in the fight state, the experience of fight changes. This person may feel: irritability anger aggression. They will have thoughts of blame; it'll always be someone else's fault, and they won't be able to pause, reflect and take responsibility. For this person, the stuck fight state is flavoring their thoughts, emotions, and interactions. Their angry fight state becomes their default view and filter of reality. When someone is stuck in a fight-flavored freeze state, they will experience rage. This is not the same as anger from the fight state alone. Rage occurs when the fight state has been immobilized along with shutdown. Coming out of Polyvagal fight It's generally possible to come out of a stuck fight state. This requires a couple of essential things: Access and build the strength of your safety state. If you have no reference point for safety, then you will need to learn to feel it and practice being in that state. With repeated practice, this increases your distress tolerance and opens up the possibility of the second step. (Safety is different than "coping", btw. More on that in the video below.) Actually allow yourself to experience the stuck fight state. After you develop distress tolerance, like through my Building Safety Anchors course, you can then bring your attention to the actual stuck fight state in your body. You could mindfully experience and discharge, allowing autonomic shifts to happen. Eventually, you would be able to shift out of fight, then into flight and then into your safety state. It's not an easy process, but it's generally possible. Unstucking Defensive States teaches you all about getting relief from your stuck trauma. You're normal You might exist in a stuck fight state. And you might think something is wrong with you or you're defective. The reality is that you may have been through something that left you in a stuck fight state. You may have had a very normal reaction to event(s) that were abnormal. Generally, things can get better and you can live a life without chronic anger and irritability. Having a new understanding of your traumatized state can be a great starting point. I have lots more information on trauma and the Polyvagal Theory in the Members Center and even a Fight State Learning Hub, where all of my content on the fight state is collected for you to easily access. Q&A What is the Polyvagal Theory? The Polyvagal Theory is a theory of how the autonomic nervous system works. It suggests that there are three different states: safety, mobilization, and immobilization. When you're in a safety state, you're able to relax and connect with others or yourself. When you're in a mobilized state, you're prepared to take action, like running or fighting. And when you're in an immobilized state, you're shut down and unable to respond, possibly even dissociative. What are some symptoms of being stuck in a fight state? Some of the symptoms of being stuck in a fight state include: Irritability Anger Aggression Thoughts of blame Difficulty pausing, reflecting, and taking responsibility What can I do to come out of a stuck fight state? There are a few things you can do to come out of a stuck fight state: Access your safety state. This means finding a place where you feel safe and secure. It could be your bedroom, a park, or even your car. Once you're in a safe place, take some deep breaths and focus on your breath. This will help to calm your body and mind. You could even use your imagination - ask yourself "Where would I go to feel safe"? This can also trigger safety in your body. You could also find safety through people, like loved ones, coworkers or a professional relationship like therapy. Allow yourself to experience the anger. Don't try to suppress it or pretend it's not there. Instead, sit with the anger and let it flow through you. This can be difficult, but it's important to allow yourself to feel your emotions as you are ready to and as your safety state is developed. Author Bio: Justin Sunseri is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He is the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast , and author of the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm . He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.

In this blog: top-down self-regulation openers   what validation is   validation might be challenging   invalidation keeps you traumatized   how to validate yourself   validation and trauma   Validation is a top-down self-regulation opener It’s possible to shift your state from the top down, from the brain to the body. The brainstem acts as the intermediary point for this two-way communication. Signals from the body come up to the brainstem and are sent to the brain; signals also come from the brain to the brainstem, then are sent down to the body. Porges uses an analogy of an upside down triangle to explain this. You can shift your state from the bottom up or from the top-down, meaning from the body to the brain or the brain to the body. Ways to shift your Polyvagal state from the bottom-up: Shifting your state from the bottom-up means from the body to the brain. It means mindfully experiencing what is happening in your body while being anchored in your safety state. Some examples of body to brain regulation are: dance singing yoga creativity exercise and movement Ways to shift your Polyvagal state from the top-down Shifting your state from the top-down means from the brain to the body. It means sending cognitive cues of safety from your brain downward. Some examples of brain to body regulation could be: affirmations safety memories mindfulness imagination puzzles For example, when I remember my daughter squeezing my finger when she was born, this instantaneously brings me to my safety state and a soft smile spreads on my face as I remember and type these words for you. It can be helpful to use top-down messages to help regulate your defensive state and even open the possibility of further Polyvagal ladder climbing (if the Polyvagal Theory is new to you, go here first for a free rundown ). I have three top-down self-regulation openers I want to teach you. These are not intended to bring you to a Polyvagal state of safety and social engagement in and of themselves. These are intended to provide a cognitive baseline to help you to attune with what is happening from the bottom-up, to align your cognitions with your felt experience. They help to open a path for self-regulation to occur. Top-down self-regulation openers There are 3 things you can do immediately to help open the possibility of self-regulation. This will help you to access more calm, relaxation, peace and connection with yourself and others. The three top-down state openers are: validation normalization giving permission Validation: the first of 3 self-regulation openers What validation is Validation is the act of recognizing and accepting what is happening within, without necessarily approving or liking it. It's an acknowledgement of the objective truth of an emotional experience, without judgment or evaluation. It's about allowing yourself to feel what you feel, without trying to change or suppress those emotions. Validation is not explaining why you feel how you feel Validation is also not explaining why. If you’re feeling sad, then you’re feeling sad. That’s it. The why of your sadness is generally important, but in that moment, simply recognizing the emotional experience is validating. If you go into why you feel sad or the history of your sadness, you’re no longer validating. These questions are important, but not for this step. Validation could also take place through other experiential domains, like: your cognitions, sensations and impulses, but we're going to focus on the emotional experience for the time being. That's probably what's most noticeable for you. Validation is just recognizing what is objectively true. Your emotions truly are there. You're not making these things up. They are real. They are important. And they are significant. That's validation. Validation might be challenging Acknowledging and accepting our emotional experiences can be a big challenge, especially if we haven't received validation from others or if we struggle to validate ourselves. If you were raised in a home that dismissed your emotions, then validating yourself may be difficult. If you’re been in relationships where you have been told how you feel, versus you recognizing for yourself how you feel, then this might be a challenge for you. Ideally, you’re able to recognize what you are experiencing, express it to someone else and have them be in agreement with what you are experiencing. It could sound as simple as saying, “I’m feeling really down recently.” The other person may say, “Sounds like you’re sad.” Imagine if the other person said, “Get over it” or “There’s no reason to feel that way.” Those statements are highly dismissive and lacking compassion. These statements are invalidating. Not everyone will be validating In no way do I expect everyone in your life to be validating, by the way. Most likely, they won’t be and it’s unrealistic to expect that. However, ideally, you would receive validation from those closest to you: parents, caretakers, teachers, friends and partners. Ideally, these are the people that would be able to provide you with validation; meaning, they could name your feelings along with you or use similar language to describe what you are going through. Lack of validation helps keep you stuck in defense Invalidation can keep someone traumatized Unfortunately, this lack of validation from self or others can contribute to your stuck defensive state, preventing you from moving towards climbing your Polyvagal ladder. Invalidation may lead to a misalignment between your thoughts and your emotions. Instead of cognitively recognizing what is emotionally true and currently happening, your cognitions may shift to what others have told you is true or what others have told you to do with your thoughts. Pretend you live with a chronic feeling of aloneness. If you were to validate yourself, you would name it as “feeling alone” or maybe recognize you have a true experience of wanting to isolate yourself. Those would be validating. But maybe you were raised in a home that told you to “be strong” and “get over it,” so you instead focus on those types of dismissive cognitions, which invalidate your true emotional experience. What you are reflexively doing is focusing on what you have been told to do about the feeling of aloneness, versus just allowing the feeling of aloneness. You're not trying to invalidate yourself Are you purposefully invalidating yourself? Of course not. You - like so many other people - are probably reflexively using dismissive cognitions and behaviors that you were taught. And those have served a purpose for you up until this point. But it might be time to try out some validation instead. In reality, you may be desperate for validation. Maybe frustrated with not having gotten it or being able to give it to yourself. If that's the case, it sounds to me like there is something you can give yourself validation about! Your emotions are real It's important to recognize that our emotions are real, significant, and deserving of acknowledgement and acceptance, even if they may not feel good or pleasant. Again, it's not about liking it, it's not about feeling good. It's just objectively accepting that it is what it is. I feel the way I feel right now at this moment. It is true. I do have these thoughts. I do have these feelings. It’s not easy, I can validate that. How to validate yourself If I were to ask you to validate somebody else's feelings, I think you could. If you were to see someone who was fidgety, didn’t make eye contact, was tense and pacing around, you might say, “Hey, you seem really anxious!” That person might be able to say, “Yeah, I’m really stressed out.” That’s validation. You’re recognizing what is true and naming it as best you can. Now I need you to apply that to yourself. I know it’s not easy, but it’s generally possible. If you can’t validate yourself right now, that’s alright. But as you move forward, it will become important, especially if you are actively working on unstucking your trauma, like through the Polyvagal Trauma Relief System . Validation will be very important for the more direct self-regulation work, which is of course explained in great detail in phase 3 of PTRS. It may help you to have a list of possible emotions, even ones that are broken into general categories. I created something called “ SSIEC ” that you can use. It provides you with vocabulary to help you name your sensations, impulses, emotions and cognitions, and also connects them with your Polyvagal state. The video below explains how to use it and there's a link to download below as well. Name your experiences as close as you can If naming is indeed too much, you could also generally name what you are going through as close as you can. Maybe you don’t know you feel “nervous,” but you know you feel something in the realm of “ anxiety .” So you could say, “I’m feeling anxious,” and that gets you a step closer to the true felt experience you’re having. Practice validating before you're overwhelmed I also highly recommend that you practice validating when your emotions are not too big, not too explosive, not too dysregulated. Practice throughout the day during mundane things or during transitions. How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? How about when it's hard to get out of bed? How about on the way to school or to work? How about when you're in social situations you'd prefer not to be in? How about in traffic on the way home? What can you emotionally validate when you impulsively want to have junk food? Practice validating right now You could try validating your present moment experience right now. What is it that you notice you are feeling? Anything obvious sticking out to you? Anything that is general more of a defensive or a safety state activation you are noticing? Do you feel calm, anxious, angry, numb, disconnected, irritated, worried, connected or something else? Is it something in the general realm of these emotions? How validation can be helpful in trauma recovery Essentially, it’s important to figure out how to genuinely validate yourself. The emotions and feelings that you have are real, and it may be the reason why you’re seeking help through a resource like this blog or therapy. In the trauma recovery process, it's helpful to acknowledge and accept your emotions for what they are and just what they are. No more, no less. Without evaluation or judgment, as best you can. What to do after you validate yourself Once you can do this, you can then move on to the next two self-regulation openers - normalization and giving permission. Validation brings your conscious awareness to what is truly happening in the moment. It begins the process of aligning your cognitions in the present moment with your bottom-up somatic experience. Validation helps to reduce the reflexive thoughts that you tell yourself to make your feelings go away. And it you can successfully validate yourself, it may also lead to a reduction in behavioral adaptations to your stuck defensive state. Validation connects mind to body Validation is extremely important in laying a top-down foundation that helps you align in the present moment. To notice your emotions as simply what they are and to begin to allow for their existence. Once you are aligned in the present moment, you can then begin to directly experience your emotions as they are. As you mindfully attune to your feelings, Polyvagal ladder climbing can begin to happen as your natural capacity for self-regulation opens up. How to Know if You Are Ready for Direct Trauma Work If you are interested in going further into working on your stuck defensive state, this article teaches you how to tell if you are ready or not. Wanting change is one thing, but readiness is another. 3 quotes from this blog "Validation is the act of recognizing and accepting what is happening within, without necessarily approving or liking it." "Validation brings your conscious awareness to what is truly happening in the moment. It begins the process of aligning your cognitions in the present moment with your bottom-up somatic experience." "Validation helps to reduce the reflexive thoughts that you tell yourself to make your feelings go away. And if you can successfully validate yourself, it may also lead to a reduction in behavioral adaptations to your stuck defensive state." Q&A Q: What is validation? A: Validation is the act of recognizing and accepting what is happening within, without necessarily approving or liking it. It's about allowing yourself to feel what you feel, without trying to change or suppress those emotions. Q: Why is validation important for mental health? A: Validation is crucial for mental health because it allows us to acknowledge and accept our emotions, which can help us move forward and find more peace. Without validation, we may struggle to recognize and accept our emotions, leading to a misalignment between our thoughts and emotions. And then nothing changes. Q: How can I learn to validate myself? A: Learning to validate yourself takes practice and patience. It may be helpful to have a list of possible emotions to help you name and recognize what you're feeling. Practice when your emotions are tolerable and can be noticed and when you have enough access to your Polyvagal safety state. Author Bio: Justin Sunseri is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He is the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast , and author of the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm . He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.

What is emotional normalization? Emotional normalization is making sense of your emotions based on your life context. It's a cognitive self-regulation tool you can use after emotional validation. Doing so can help to alleviate emotional dysregulation that you are experiencing. Emotional normalization is one of my three top-down self-regulation openers for trauma recovery. In this blog: top-down self-regulation openers   validation explained briefly   what normalization is   don't focus on the trauma narrative   emotions come from a Polyvagal state   Top-down self-regulation openers It’s possible to shift your Polyvagal state from the top down, from the brain to the body. N ormalization is a crucial step in unlocking the potential for trauma recovery and self-regulation. Normalization should not be perceived as a standalone solution to move out of a traumatized state, but rather as the second of three top-down steps in creating the grounds for self-regulation. In my previous blog post, I discussed validation as the first step, and the subsequent step is normalization, followed by giving oneself permission as the third step. Validation explained briefly Validation is confirming that what you are experiencing is true. It's an objective and truthful acceptance. For example, admitting to yourself that you feel sad is validating of your emotional experience. Likewise, telling your feelings to someone else and having them name your feeling of "sad" could also be validating. Read the previous blog on validation > Normalization: the 2nd of 3 top-down self-regulation openers What Normalization is After validating your emotions, the next step is to normalize them. Your emotions not only truly exist, but also have a reason for existing within you. They don't just exist out of nowhere. In fact, if someone else had similar life circumstances to you, they would likely feel the same way and be left with similar emotions, similar cognitions, similar impulses and sensations too. And yes, probably a similar stuck state. I see this all the time in my therapy and coaching client work. I have yet to meet with a client that I thought had random feelings. 100% of my caseload over the years have present day emotions that stem from either present day experiences or past experiences. Their emotions make sense based on the context of their present day or their past life experiences. If others had the same life context as you, they would likely end up with a similar stuck defensive state and experience similar emotions that brought you here to UDS. So, just like you would reassure someone else in that situation that their feelings are normal, I invite you to do the same for yourself. Your emotions are normal and understandable given the circumstances you grew up in and/or that you currently are in. This is the essence of normalization. Focus on normalization, not retelling your trauma Unless you can handle it, I do not recommended delving deeper into your life circumstances that led to your present day dysregulation. The focus may need to be on acknowledging and accepting your emotions as valid and normal. It is completely okay to keep it general for now and understand that your specific emotions make sense based on your life circumstances. Normalizing your emotions Be specific and objective about the emotions that you are trying to change. The basic idea is, “These emotions are normal based on my life circumstances.” Normalizing your emotions based on your life may sound like: “My emotions are normal” “The emotion that brings me to trauma recovery is normal.” “My emotions make sense.” “My emotions make sense in this context.” “My emotions are not random.” Pick what works for you or make up your own. What would it sound like if you were to normalize yourself, your emotions, based on your life circumstances? Emotions come from a Polyvagal state Read my free Polyvagal Intro if this is new to you > Emotions are complex Let’s acknowledge that, while emotions are complex and multi-layered, they ultimately boil down to stemming from a Polyvagal state, which is a biological process. This is not to diminish the significance of your valid felt experience of your emotions, but rather to understand that they are a natural reaction to the context of one's life. Emotions are not inherently good or bad, but rather a normal response to circumstances. Recognizing this fact can help to reduce the intensity of the feelings associated with difficult life circumstances. That’s normalization. Your body adapted to survive In hindsight, it's easy to question why we didn't take certain actions or why our parents didn't act differently. However, it may be more helpful to recognize our bodies naturally adapt to defensive states in response to challenging circumstances, and it is not uncommon for us to get biologically stuck in these states. This is a normal reaction and falls within the range of expected and typical biological responses to situations that are triggering a defensive autonomic state. In fact, these biological shifts are what allow us to survive! Not only us, but every organism before us. These normal biological shifts to safety and danger have been passed down through evolution and are encoded into our DNA. Not only are our Polyvagal shifts normal, but they’re necessary. And the emotions that come from a Polyvagal state makes a lot more sense when looked at from the viewpoint of biology. Your neuroceptive shifts, stuck Polyvagal state and felt experience of that state all make sense and are expected outcomes to your life context. Normalization may not be easy I invite you to acknowledge that this is not easy. Polyvagal ladder climbing is difficult. Not just for you, but for all of us. That difficulty is normal and an expected part of recovery. All of this might be brand new for you. So just acknowledge and maybe even accept this is not easy and it doesn't have to be easy; and we're going to make steps in the right direction little by little. Normalizing helps reduce shame, blame & more If you are able to normalize your stuck defensive state based on your life context, then there is a greater potential for you to also lower your shame, blame and judgment. It's not a fix for these, but it can help. If you can understand your sadness or shame as an expected result of your context, then the reflexive further shaming or blaming that you do may go down. Being able to make sense of your emotions helps to lower the anxiety and frustration of trying to figure them out. It also helps to lower the intensity of your cognitions, since it lowers the intensity of the emotion. Along with this comes a wider path for self-regulation to unfold, as long as you have a strong enough anchoring in your safety state and the knowledge on how to do so. Both of these are addressed in my Polyvagal Trauma Relief System . Retraumatization through therapy Therapy can inadvertedly retraumatize clients who are looking to get help. Delving into the trauma narrative too early can be harmful. Click here to read the blog > 3 quotes from this blog "Normalization is a crucial step in unlocking the potential for trauma recovery and self-regulation." "Your emotions not only truly exist, but also have a reason for existing within you." "Recognizing this fact can help to reduce the intensity of the feelings associated with difficult life circumstances. That’s normalization." Q&A What is emotional normalization? Emotional normalization is the process of making sense of your emotions based on your life context. It involves understanding that your emotions are normal and understandable given your circumstances, which can help alleviate autonomic state dysregulation from the mind to the body. How does emotional normalization help reduce shame and blame? By normalizing your emotions based on your life context, you can recognize that your responses are a natural reaction to the context of your life. This understanding can help reduce shame and blame by lowering the intensity of the feelings associated with difficult life circumstances. Why is it important to practice emotional normalization? It's important to normalize your emotions because it helps to reduce emotional dysregulation from the mind to the body. It also opens up the potential for self-regulation and even trauma recovery. Normalization does not do so on its own, but is an important cognitive tool to help open that possibility. Author Bio: Justin wrote the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm and receives 150k monthly downloads as the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast. He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states as a therapist and coach. Learn what makes Justin different > Contact Justin >

Emotions might be overwhelming for you. Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions? Do you sometimes struggle to understand why you feel or think a certain way? If so, you're not alone. Getting caught up in our thoughts and emotions is easy, making it difficult to process our feelings effectively. One powerful technique for navigating the emotional landscape is mindfulness. I know, I know. You're probably tired of hearing about "mindfulness." It's everywhere. But hear me out; I can make it more practical and understandable. By learning how to feel your feelings and improve emotional processing with mindfulness, you can experience greater emotional well-being and build resilience in life's challenges. Understanding Mindfulness and Emotional Processing What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is an experience of non-judgmental awareness that focuses on the present moment. It involves paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, impulses, and bodily sensations without getting sucked into despair. Mindfulness & the present moment If you're curious and connected to the present moment, you're being mindful. Mindful awareness can be of the present moment through: the external environment through your senses your internal experience through interoception That's it. Mindfulness can be done while moving or while being still. There is no one right way of being mindful. Pretty simple, right? What is emotional processing? On the other hand, emotional processing is the ability to identify, understand, and healthily manage your emotions. Jack Rachman defines emotional processing as "a process whereby emotional disturbances are absorbed, and decline to the extent that other experiences and behaviour can proceed without disruption." In other words, emotional processing is the ability to feel your difficult feelings and allow them to reduce in intensity. In addition, this calming will enable you to experience more of what the present moment offers. Mindfulness and emotional processing go together. The relationship between mindfulness and emotional processing is one of mutual support. By practicing mindfulness, you become more aware of your emotions and can better recognize them when they arise. This increased awareness allows you to approach your feelings with curiosity and understanding rather than fear or avoidance. Through being more mindful, you can better process your emotions. How does mindfulness lead to emotional processing? To answer this question, you must first understand what is happening biologically when you are mindful. The Polyvagal Theory teaches us that to be connected to the present moment, your brainstem pathways responsible for safety need to first be activated . These ventral vagal pathways are responsible for your ability to connect with yourself and with others. When these pathways are active, they keep your heartbeat calmer (" the vagal brake "), which keeps your defensive biological pathways from activating. Suppose your body is not in a defensive state. In that case, you will not experience anxiety, anger, panic, and other negative emotions that keep you from being mindful. In other words, when your body is prepared for safety, you won't exist in negative emotions. If this is true, you are much more capable of emotional processing. Your negative emotional experiences will calm and open up the potential for other experiences. Likewise, if your body is prepared for safety, it is much more likely to be able to process your negative emotions. For example, if anger surfaces, you can notice, allow, and mindfully experience it. This process leads to a reduction in the intensity of the anger. You can learn more about these techniques in Unstucking Defensive States . Benefits of practicing mindfulness Some of the benefits of practicing mindfulness for emotional regulation and processing include the following: Reduced stress and anxiety Improved mood and emotional well-being Enhanced self-awareness and self-compassion Greater resilience in the face of challenges Strategies for Practicing Mindfulness and Feeling Your Feelings Practicing mindfulness needs to be both practical and accessible. Here are four techniques to practice mindfulness: cognitions to open mindfulness: validation, normalization, giving permission body scanning to identify where your emotion lives mindful movement mindful breathing, extending your exhale if you can journaling and creative expression with a focus on the present moment Thoughts to open mindfulness You can use brain-to-body messages to help open up your capacity for mindfulness. Doing these three cognitive techniques helps to lay a foundation for feeling your feelings: validation - is your emotion real? That's validating. It's accepting it as real without evaluating, rejecting, or even embracing it. Read more about validation here. normalization - does the emotion make sense? If it makes sense based on the context of the present moment or the context of your life, then you can normalize it. You can read more about normalization here. giving permission - if your emotion is valid and normal, give it permission to exist within your body in the present moment. You can read more about giving permission here. You can use the upcoming mindfulness techniques more successfully after using the three cognitions above. Body scanning to identify where your emotion lives Another way to practice mindfulness is through body scanning. After you give your emotion permission to exist, ask yourself where it lives in your body. I like to pretend a futuristic laser body scanner starts from the top of my head and goes to the tip of my toes. I picture a red line going horizontally as it journeys down my body. This helps to playfully be curious about my emotions and where I feel them. Mindful movement Mindful movements, such as yoga or tai chi, encourage you to focus on the sensations in your body, which can help you become more aware of your emotions. You can also do simple movements, like fidgeting. Paying attention to the experience of fidgeting may help you attune to your internal world. Mindful breathing techniques Think of the breath as a way to connect with the present moment. It's always present, predictable, and rhythmic. Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath. Observe the sensation of breathing in and out without trying to control it. Your body knows how to breathe naturally; let it do so and be a curious observer. The only other breathing technique I recommend is to extend the exhale. This activates your parasympathetic safety state, keeping you in line with the present moment for a tad longer. Mindful journaling and creative expression Writing can be a powerful tool for processing emotions and developing mindfulness. If you write or use other creative means to feel your emotions, focus on what is happening here and now. Here are three of my five tips for mindful journaling: alternate your speed of writing based on what you feel inside. focus on the process, not the outcome. don't use a journal. Read all five of my journaling tips > Trauma Recovery: the normal & non-linear process of change I explain why understanding the non-linear process of change is crucial for trauma recovery and offer some tips to navigate the journey you might be on. Read the entire blog here > Q&A What is the relationship between mindfulness and emotional processing? By practicing mindfulness, you become more aware of your emotions and can better recognize them when they arise. This increased awareness allows you to approach your feelings with curiosity and understanding rather than fear or avoidance. Through being more mindful, you can better process your emotions. How does mindfulness lead to emotional processing? Mindfulness comes from being in a Polyvagal state of safety. This state of safety reduces negative emotions like anxiety, anger, and panic, allowing you to be more open to emotional processing. In this state, you can mindfully experience and process negative emotions, leading to a reduction in their intensity. What are some strategies for practicing mindfulness and feeling your feelings? Some strategies for practicing mindfulness and feeling your feelings include cognitions to open mindfulness (validation, normalization, giving permission), body scanning to identify where your emotion lives, mindful movement, mindful breathing (extending your exhale if you can), and journaling and creative expression with a focus on the present moment. Quotes from this blog: "Mindfulness is an experience of non-judgmental awareness that focuses on the present moment. It involves paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, impulses, and bodily sensations without getting sucked into despair." "Some of the benefits of practicing mindfulness for emotional regulation and processing include the following: Reduced stress and anxiety, Improved mood and emotional well-being, Enhanced self-awareness and self-compassion, Greater resilience in the face of challenges." "The relationship between mindfulness and emotional processing is one of mutual support. By practicing mindfulness, you become more aware of your emotions and can better recognize them when they arise. This increased awareness allows you to approach your feelings with curiosity and understanding rather than fear or avoidance." Author Bio: Justin Sunseri is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He hosts the Stuck Not Broken podcast and is the author of the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm . He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.

What meditation is Meditation is traditionally the practice of training your mind to focus on a single point or thought, such as your breath, a mantra, or a specific visualization. I believe that meditation is something that can be practical and accessible for anyone, even busy people that would rather or need to spend time doing something else. Do you need to do a 30-day silent retreat? No. Do you need to meditate for 30 minutes a day? No. Set aside your assumptions; I promise I can make this approachable for anyone. In this guide, I will explore the benefits of meditation and provide practical tips for busy beginners looking to incorporate this practice into their lives. Jump to a section: what a busy person is benefits of meditation how meditation helps meditation for busy people preparing and tips for meditation I'm busy too! What's a "busy person"? I'm talking about the person that doesn't slow down. They are always busy: taking the kids to school or practices, running a business, socializing, cleaning something, and more. This person feels stressed and overwhelmed pretty much all the time. On top of that, this person may not be considering that they need to slow down. This person thinks spending time being "mindful" is ridiculous when they have so much more stuff to do! If this describes you, you're in the right place. And trust me - I can relate! I'll share more about myself toward the end. I won't judge you if you don't judge me. Deal? Alright, let's talk about how meditation can be beneficial. Benefits of Meditation for Busy People Busy people prioritize their busy-ness, thinking that slowing down will only hinder their productivity. However, there are numerous potential benefits of meditation to the busy person, including: reductions in stress and anxiety improved concentration increased productivity Reductions in stress and anxiety (1/3) One of meditation's most commonly cited benefits is its ability to reduce stress and anxiety. When we experience stress, our body releases cortisol, a hormone that can negatively affect our health. Meditation has been shown to lower cortisol levels, leading to improved mood and decreased anxiety. Mindfulness meditation lowers the cortisol levels in the blood suggesting that it can lower stress and may decrease the risk of diseases that arise from stress such as psychiatric disorder, peptic ulcer and migraine. ( NIH ) Improved concentration (2/3) By training your mind to focus on a single point, such as your breath or visualization, you can learn to block out distractions and stay focused on your experience of the present moment. This can be particularly beneficial for busy people juggling multiple daily responsibilities and tasks. Increased productivity (3/3) Practicing meditation can help you to think more clearly with less mental clutter. It can also allow a reduction in emotional dysregulation. Combining these two could result in increased goal-directed activities and more productivity. Indeed, meditation"...may be associated with structural changes in areas of the brain that are important for sensory, cognitive, and emotional processing. The data further suggest that meditation may impact age-related declines in cortical structure" ( NIH ). Put simply - meditation is good for your brain and good for productivity. Being more productive means freeing up some time for less busyness. And having more emotional regulation means that things typically stress-inducing won't be as stress-inducing. Meditation isn't just woo-woo stuff. Meditation and mindfulness don't just improve general connection and awareness of the present moment. There are also more concrete potential benefits as well. I have no interest in woo-woo. I need evidence and data, maybe just like you. Numerous studies have shown improvements in a range of behavioral problems or reductions in the intensity of symptoms through mindfulness-based interventions, such as: Blood pressure: "practicing mindfulness-based stress reduction was associated with a significant reduction in blood pressure." ( NCCIH ) Insomnia & sleep: "mindfulness meditation practices improved sleep quality more than education-based treatments." ( NCCIH ) anxiety & depression: "for treating anxiety and depression, mindfulness-based approaches were better than no treatment at all, and they worked as well as the evidence-based therapies." ( NCCIH ) Cancer: "...use of mindfulness practices among people with cancer significantly reduced psychological distress, fatigue, sleep disturbance, pain, and symptoms of anxiety and depression." (study was mostly breast cancer) ( NCCIH ) Easy Meditation Tips for Busy People Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be a meditation guru or yogi to benefit from meditation. Meditation can be simple and accessible to anyone, regardless of background or experience. Meditation is an ideal practice for busy people who may not have much time to spare, as even just a few minutes of meditation each day can make a difference. Let's go over 5 techniques for beginners next. Meditation Techniques for Beginners If you're new to meditation, several techniques are particularly effective, including: allowing positive emotions focusing on breath body scanning visualizations guided practices Allowing positive emotions: Meditation doesn't need to be empty-minded nor summon and allow negative experiences. Instead, purposefully call upon more positive emotions through your memory. When I remember the birth of my children and how they grabbed my finger with their tiny newborn hands, I can feel happiness and connection. I can mindfully allow those emotions to be in the present moment. Focus on breath: This is one of the simplest and most popular meditation techniques. Close your eyes (if you like) and focus on your breath, inhaling and exhaling deeply and slowly. When your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath. I don't like to recommend prescribed breathing. Instead, let your body breathe how it naturally knows how to and needs to. It will take care of you. Body scan: This technique focuses on each part of your body, from the top of your head to your toes. Notice any sensations you feel without judgment. Allow a range of emotions to make themselves present, both negative and positive. Visualizations: This technique involves imagining a peaceful place or situation, such as a beach or a quiet forest. Allow yourself to fully immerse in this visualization and release any stress or anxiety. I often ask my therapy clients where they would go to feel safe. Focus on the details of the scenario and what it would be like to experience that environment through your senses directly. Guided practices: If you struggle with meditation, find a guided practice. There are lots out there for free, or you can use an app like "Calm." You'll need to pick and choose what works best for you and dump the rest. I prefer something very concrete and directive. If it involves "beams of light" entering me, I'll pass. Next, let's ensure you are prepared to maximize your meditation opportunities, which may be less often than ideal. Preparing for Meditation Prepare ahead of time to be more effective with your new meditation practice in your busy life. That way, you get the most out of your time and out of the practice. Prepare ahead of time by: finding the calmest environment in your home knowing what helps you feel calm preparing for distraction Find the calmest environment in your home. (1/3) Pick the spot in your home that is the most calming for you. This provides passive safety cues. You can also alter the environment to increase those cues. Some tips for creating a calmer environment are: turn off all electronics use a soothing scent to help slow down dim the lighting or let in natural light declutter your area This is very similar to what is recommended in Building Safety Anchors . By identifying the safest environment in your home, you can enhance the passive cues of safety through minor adjustments to it. Know what helps you to feel safe and calm. (2/3) Before trying to meditate, know what helps you to feel calm. Knowing ahead of time streamlines your efforts by eliminating the guesswork. Some things to consider are: What scent is the most efficient at bringing you calm? What lighting do you like? What time of day is ideal? What sounds would you prefer? Or is quiet better? If you don't know, that's okay. You can always experiment with something different each time, prune out what doesn't work for you, and build on what does. I tend to prefer silence or music called "lo-fi chill hop." (I have it on now as I write this.) Dealing with distractions: (3/3) If you're like me, there is a nearly 100% chance that you will be interrupted or distracted during meditation. Kids, spouses, chores, and thoughts that keep popping up about other stuff that needs to be done. So deal with distractions ahead of time if you can. Think about what will likely happen. Here are a few tips: meditate when everyone is asleep, either early in the morning or at night turn off your phone and every device you need to! put on the right kind of music to help you focus inwardly tell anyone and everyone that you need 5 minutes to be alone! I'm busy too! I mentioned before that I can relate. I'm busy too. Here's a list of what my life looks like: very active Father: packing kids' lunches, dropping them off and picking them up from school, plus after-school practices, playing with my kids very active spouse: my wife and I are partners in everything and prize our time together, even if we're watching Netflix. homeowner: chores and more chores, including maintaining a pain-in-the-butt pool that needs constant attention working full-time as a therapist in a high-risk public school private practice therapist doing sessions on Saturday mornings and a couple of weeknights here and there coaching every other Sunday content creator: blog, podcast, and youtube course creator, book writer, webinar hoster for my course students twice a month other business things that eat up my time That's just a broad overview. When it comes to the finer points of my day, the minute-to-minute, you would see me being productive constantly. But in my opinion, busy is not bad. Not necessarily... Being busy is not (necessarily) bad... Are you worried yet? Don't be. I love it. All the stuff that I do doesn't feel like work. I genuinely enjoy what I do for a living and what I create in my business. I love being a dad and a husband, and I think my wife and I are doing a pretty damn good job raising our kiddos. My health is good, and I am making a significant impact on the people in this world. I love hearing from my audience and how my creation impacts them positively. What might look like being busy on the outside... well, it is busy. But it's also my passion and my fulfillment. Do I feel stressed sometimes? Sure. And that's when I know I need to slow down. Ideally, I slow myself down, and do some mindfulness and meditation before the stress comes on. Stress is not bad; it can be quite motivating. But I balance it out with quality time with my family and giving myself moments of peace during the day. Meditate when you can. It's worth it. I encourage you also to find time for short bursts of meditation if you're busy like me. Be honest with yourself; slow down before there's a problem. Take in the present moment with a breath and listen to your body. Trust me - it's worth it. Before you get down to work productivity, spend 5 minutes with your internal experience as best you can. It will ultimately make you more productive, more focused, and less stressed. Process Your Emotions More Efficiently If you're ready to meditate, you're ready to process and relieve your emotions, including stress and anxiety. Learn how to process your emotions more efficiently > Q&A Q: What are the benefits of meditation for busy people? A: Meditation can help busy people reduce stress and anxiety, improve concentration, and increase productivity. It can also lead to structural changes in the brain that support cognitive and emotional processing. Q: How can beginners incorporate meditation into their busy lives? A: Beginners can start by practicing simple techniques like focusing on breath, body scanning, and visualizations. It's also important to find a calm environment and prepare for distractions ahead of time. Just a few minutes of meditation each day can make a difference. Q: Can meditation really help with mental health? A: Yes, numerous studies have shown that meditation can improve symptoms of anxiety, depression, insomnia, and even cancer-related distress. It can also lower cortisol levels, improving mood and decreasing anxiety. Meditation is a practical and accessible tool for improving mental health. However, I do not recommend using meditation alone as a replacement for professional help when needed. Author Bio: Justin Sunseri is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He is the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast , and author of the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm . He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.

Anxiety is a common experience for many people. But what is it, and what are some skills to help manage it? And how difficult are those skills to use? In this blog, I will cover 21 anxiety management skills, how they help, and when you should use them. Jump to a section: what is anxiety? 7 easy anxiety management skills 9 intermediate anxiety management skills 5 advanced anxiety management skills What is anxiety? Anxiety is the emotional, conscious experience of the body's impulse to escape. When one does not act on the impulse, anxiety emerges and can be noticed and felt. For example, when someone who does not do well with social situations goes to a workplace potluck, they will have an impulse to leave. However, if they do not leave due to social norms and expectations of the workplace, they will then experience anxiety. Skills to help manage anxiety When I say "manage anxiety," I do not mean "cure." I believe that anxiety can get better and alleviate, something I have seen often as a therapist, but these 21 skills do not guarantee that. These may reduce the intensity of anxiety but not cure it. Whether you experience mild or severe anxiety, there are many techniques that you can use to help manage your symptoms and find relief. However, you may not be able to use all of these skills due to how inaccessible they are from your anxious state or due to more practical matters. Here are 21 anxiety management skills listed for difficulty and accessibility based on anxiety intensity. Use this list to find the right strategies to manage your anxiety. 7 Easy anxiety management skills These 7 anxiety management skills are easily accessible and free or very low cost. Practice using these before you have anxiety to increase your access to feeling safe, which will better prepare you for moments where you need to use these same skills to alleviate anxiety when it does occur. The 7 easy anxiety management skills are: practice deep breathing exercises take short movement breaks listen to calming music write in a journal take a warm bath or shower drink tea spend time in nature 1. Practice deep breathing exercises to lower anxiety: Deep breathing exercises are a simple but effective way to reduce anxiety. Sit comfortably, take a deep breath through your nose and into your belly, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat as needed. This type of belly breathing was shown to "... improve sustained attention, affect, and cortisol levels" in this study . And this meta-analysis shows "...increased comfort, relaxation, pleasantness, vigor and alertness, and reduced symptoms of arousal, anxiety, depression, anger, and confusion." How breathing exercises help anxiety: The extended exhale utilizes the parasympathetic system, which calms the body and slows the heart. Slowing the heartbeat is exactly what's needed when anxious, as the flight impulse comes along with an increased heart rate. I think mindful breathing is very helpful for lowering anxiety. The more academic meta-analysis explanation is this: "Slow breathing techniques act enhancing autonomic, cerebral and psychological flexibility in a scenario of mutual interactions: we found evidence of links between parasympathetic activity (increased HRV and LF power), CNS activities (increased EEG alpha power and decreased EEG theta power) related to emotional control and psychological well-being in healthy subjects." When you should use breathing exercises to reduce anxiety: Breath can be used for any level of anxiety intensity, even panic attacks. However, you will get better results if: you practice breath exercises ahead of time you have high distress tolerance you have practiced mindfulness and can attune to your breath 2. Take short movement breaks to lower anxiety. Taking short breaks to stretch and move your body can help reduce tension and promote relaxation. I'd recommend mindful stretching and movement over using your phone to distract yourself from anxiety. How movement helps reduce anxiety: Doing so mindfully uses the pent-up flight energy lingering in your system. It also reminds your body that movement is possible and you are not immobilized. When you should use stretch breaks to reduce anxiety: Use movement when you notice your anxiety escalating, and you can take a break from what you're doing. For example, I like to walk around the block daily at work. I highly recommend movement combined with sensory mindfulness of the environment. Are you new to the Polyvagal Theory? I realize this may all be brand new to you: states of the body, safety cues, impulses... it's a lot! If you're brand new to my site and this information, I highly recommend learning deeply about the Polyvagal Theory. Download my Polyvagal Checklist to use as a guide on what to learn. Good luck! 3. Listen to calming music to reduce anxiety: Music can help you relax and reduce anxiety. So choose music that you find soothing and relaxing. Something that enables you to slow down and feel more present. Alternatively, choose music that allows you to mobilize and feels playful. How does music help lower anxiety? Music can help to lower anxiety in many ways: it can help you to move through dance it provides a rhythm to synchronize with and feel more present The vocal prosody of music is a cue of safety to your system (the sing-songy quality of it) it may match the intensity of what you're feeling and allow it to be present within you it can also function as a distraction to anxiety When you should use music to reduce anxiety: Music is always a good idea for reducing anxiety. Have it on the background to provide passive safety. Use earbuds to keep things discreet as you work. Or dance with friends and co-regulate in social mobility and play. 4. Write in a journal to reduce anxiety: Writing in a journal can help you process your thoughts and emotions and reduce anxiety. Take a few minutes each day to write down your thoughts and feelings. I recommend focusing on the present moment and straying away from reflecting on painful moments from the past. How does journaling help to lower anxiety? Journaling aligns your cognitions with what is happening within you and also with the external world. If you journal about the present moment, you may write about things like: what your senses are detecting, like sounds and sights. what your present-moment emotional experience is, like anxious or nervous. what it feels like in the present moment to journal. When your thoughts align with the present moment through journaling, it permits your emotion of anxiety to be present, which may help reduce its intensity. Read my 5 journaling tips by clicking here > When you should journal to reduce anxiety: Journaling is best done when the anxious feelings are at a mild to moderate level. It would help if you stayed anchored in the present moment to journal effectively. For example, you may notice past events coming to mind that were potentially traumatic and connected to your anxiety. In that case, you must tolerate the experience that may surface, which requires staying anchored in the present moment and having a strong enough vagal brake . 5. Take a warm bath or shower to reduce anxiety: Taking a warm bath or shower can help you relax and reduce anxiety. Add some Epsom salt or essential oils to enhance the relaxation experience. How does a warm bath or shower help lower anxiety? Bathing provides numerous passive cues of safety to your system to help lower the flight activation of anxiety: warmth on your skin scents of soaps or oils solitude in being alone in the bathroom feeling clean! But those passive safety cues can also be actively noticed and experienced. Slow down and take them all in, one at a time. When you should use a warm bath or shower to reduce anxiety: One of my therapy clients took a 2-hour bath daily along with a charcuterie board of cheeses and meats. I don't recommend this lol, but it sounds amazing. However, I do highly recommend daily bathing! Think of this technique as a part of your daily structure that is more preventative than a coping skill. It can serve as a means to start or end your day calmly and serves as a foundation. Although, a shower was beneficial in my self-regulation example . 6. Drink tea to reduce anxiety: Teas can potentially help reduce anxiety, including green tea and chamomile . Unfortunately, tea is not free, though it is easily found and cheap. How does tea help to reduce anxiety? There may be some benefits from tea ingredients, like herbs or caffeine. But, for me, it's the taste, the warmth, and the scents. Teas provide both active and passive safety cues to your system, calming the flight activation. When you should drink tea to reduce anxiety: I'd recommend doing so when you have a decent amount of anchoring in your safety state and can be mindful of the experience. For example, messing with hot water is not a good idea if you're in a panic attack. But for mild to moderate anxiety and stress, I think tea is a great option. 7. Spend time in nature to reduce anxiety. Spending time in nature can help you feel more relaxed and reduce anxiety. Take a walk in the park, hike, or spend some time in your backyard. How does nature help to reduce anxiety? Humans evolved in nature. So we generally feel an aversion to dangerous elements of nature, like lightning and hail. But we are drawn to safer aspects of nature, like water and greenery. Safety cues include a warm sun, a gentle breeze, and quiet solitude. Hearing birds singing also indicates there is no danger present. When you should use nature to reduce anxiety: Use nature as often as you can. If you don't have access to a lake or whimsical forest, that's okay. Incorporate elements of nature into your home, like potted plants. I even use fake plants and framed dead moss on my office walls to bring some green into the room! I also play an extended scene of nature on my monitors during therapy sessions, like the one below. 9 Intermediate Anxiety Management Skills These 9 intermediate anxiety management skills are generally accessible but are more challenging than the 7 easy ones above. Each of these requires practice, lifestyle changes or some financial investment. The 9 intermediate anxiety management skills are: take technology breaks practice mindful meditation try muscle relaxation use positive affirmations get regular exercise reduce or eliminate caffeine and alcohol consumption practice visualizations try aromatherapy use a weighted blanket 8. Take a technology break to reduce anxiety. Taking a break from technology can help reduce stress and anxiety. Turn off your phone, tablet, VR headset, and computer as often as possible. I put this at #8 because our devices are deeply ingrained into our daily lives. We find connection, education, entertainment, and distraction from these. So it takes work to put them down for many. How does a technology break help to reduce anxiety? When you're mindlessly scrolling through your phone, it's activating your sympathetic system as you hunt for the next dopamine hit from content. But, unfortunately, it also distracts you from your inner world, which must be permitted and experienced. When you should take a tech break to reduce anxiety: As often as possible. Maybe even right now! Ever notice irritation when you step away from your device? That's your sympathetic system. Same with boredom. If boredom looms over you after turning off your devices, it's time for an extended break to self-regulate. My kids do much better with less screen time. They use their imagination more and are generally more sociable. Take a break to reduce anxiety and stress and prevent them as well. 9. Practice mindful meditation to reduce anxiety. Mindful meditation is a powerful technique for reducing anxiety. One method is to sit quietly in a calming environment, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Then, when your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to your breath. How does mindful meditation help to reduce anxiety? Just like journaling in #4, meditation helps to align your cognitions with your inner experience. Mindfulness gives anxiety permission to be present and also to soften in intensity. You can also do a deep meditative dive and directly experience the sensations and impulses underlying the anxiety. I teach this process in Unstucking Defensive States . When you should use mindful meditation to reduce anxiety: I recommend using this for mild to moderate levels of anxiety. You could use it for more severe levels, even panic, but it's not easy. I recommend practicing mindful meditation before you have anxiety. Then, when you have anxiety, you will be better prepared to experience it mindfully. And no, being busy is not an excuse. You can learn more about that here. 10. Try muscle relaxation to reduce anxiety. Muscle relaxation is a technique for tensing and relaxing muscles to induce more calm. You can do so in a sequence, using each of your muscle groups, or focus on one area in particular. For example, with anxiety, I recommend concentrating on your legs. How does progressive muscle relaxation reduce anxiety? Muscle relaxation helps to release the lingering flight activation in your body. However, it may be more of a challenge since you need to validate you have the emotion first, then identify where you feel it if you are concentrating on one area. The general relaxation sequence all over your body may be more approachable. When you should use muscle relaxation to reduce anxiety: Use muscle relaxation anytime. It's discreet, so it can be used when at work at your desk or even in bed before going to sleep. I recommend this for mild to even severe anxiety. But you need to be able to feel it and use your muscles to relieve the anxiety. 11. Use positive affirmations to lower your anxiety. Positive affirmations are statements you repeat to yourself to promote positive thinking and anxiety reduction. Choose affirmations that resonate with you and repeat them throughout the day. They need to mean something to you personally. If not, they may not be helpful at all . How does positive affirmation help anxiety? As long as the affirmation means something to you, it helps you focus on your thoughts, not the anxiety. In addition, it may increase safety in your body through brain-to-body messages. Some examples are: "I'm safe." "All I need is within me right now." "I am confident." When you should use positive affirmation to reduce anxiety: They're free and easily found through internet searches, so use them whenever you need them. However, they are not terribly helpful, especially if they don't come from you. Visualization (#14) or a specific memory may be more helpful. Positive affirmations are best for mild anxiety, in my opinion. 12. Get regular exercise to reduce anxiety. Regular exercise can help reduce anxiety and promote relaxation. Choose an exercise routine you enjoy and aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise most days. A daily walk around the block can do wonders for your overall mental health. How does exercise help to reduce anxiety? Anxiety comes from the flight system. Being mobile utilizes flight energy as long as you are mindful of the experience. The Mayo Clinic lists these two key explanations: Releasing feel-good endorphins, natural cannabis-like brain chemicals (endogenous cannabinoids) and other natural brain chemicals that can enhance your sense of well-being Taking your mind off worries so you can get away from the cycle of negative thoughts that feed depression and anxiety When you should use exercise to reduce anxiety: Anytime you can, really. Some form of exercise is generally available to you. You don't need to go to the gym or buy equipment. Short movement breaks might be more accessible, but regular exercise is excellent. 13. Reduce caffeine and alcohol consumption: Caffeine and alcohol can increase anxiety levels (and poor decisions), so limiting your intake is important. Switch to herbal tea or decaf coffee and avoid alcohol or limit consumption. How does lowering caffeine and alcohol lower anxiety? Caffeine can increase your heart rate and leave you feeling jittery. It looks like anxiety. Caffeine and alcohol both remove you from your present-moment experience. The more you can exist in reality, in the present moment, the less anxious you will be. When you should lower caffeine and alcohol to reduce anxiety: Probably all the time. But realistically, check your intake and adjust what you need to. If you're losing sleep, then you should probably cut back. If it's interfering with your daily functioning, then cut back. If you go through withdrawals when you stop, then yeah, it's probably a good idea to cut back. I like to do mini detoxes from caffeine every now and then. I focus on water intake and slowing down. I also have mostly eliminated energy drinks. Balance and mindfulness can help with cutting down on caffeine and alcohol. 14. Practice visualization techniques to calm anxiety: Visualization is where you imagine a peaceful or calming scene to help reduce anxiety. Close your eyes and imagine a place or experience that makes you feel calm and relaxed. What would safety look like to you? How does visualization help to decrease anxiety? Visualizing safety can help to activate your body's ventral vagal safety pathways. Using your imagination or remembering a moment of safety is a brain-to-body cue of safety that helps calm flight activation. When you should use visualization to reduce anxiety: Practice visualizations in mini moments to help you anchor into your body's safety state. Don't wait for anxiety and then act reactively through visualization. However, visualizing an imaginary scene or remembering a moment of peace can help to reduce anxiety. I recommend allowing tolerable anxiety levels and then balancing it with mindful visualizations of safety. 15. Try aromatherapy with essential oils or incense to manage anxiety: Aromatherapy can help to create an environment conducive to anxiety reduction through passive safety cues. For example, they may provide passive olfactory (smell) safety cues to calm your system. Combined with other environmental adjustments like lighting changes, it can help set a tone for mindfulness. However, unlike most of the list, essential oils are not free and can be costly. Incense may be more accessible. How does aromatherapy help anxiety? "Essential oils promote calm and relaxation, which can reduce symptoms of anxiety. They are often used as a complementary therapy alongside other treatments for anxiety" ( Healthmatch ). I tend to believe that aromatherapy shows the benefit of one's belief that it is going to be helpful. When the label on the box tells you it will reduce discomfort, you expect it to happen. This is called a "placebo effect." I also believe that the pleasant smell provides a calming cue of safety to the body, helping to ease anxiety. This study compared two groups - one was told a lavender-odor would reduce their pain and another group not given this information. The group that was told their pain would be reduced in the experiment reported significant alleviation of pain, whereas the other group did not. The study suggests that "the current results suggest that prior information regarding an odor has a greater impact on analgesia than breathing changes or the perceived pleasantness of the odor." When you should use aromatherapy to reduce anxiety: Use aromatherapy to provide passive safety cues to help settle into a meditative practice before you have anxiety. For example, as part of a daily practice. If you have mild to moderate anxiety and can tolerate it, use aromatherapy and other mindful practices to soften the intensity of anxiety. I do not recommend using aromatherapy as a stand-alone anxiety treatment. "Essential oils promote calm and relaxation, which can reduce symptoms of anxiety. They are often used as a complementary therapy alongside other treatments for anxiety" ( Healthmatch ). 16. Use a weighted blanket to reduce anxiety and feel more contained. This meta-analysis found that "Weighted blankets may be an appropriate therapeutic tool in reducing anxiety." And this study of adults in an inpatient facility "...found a statistically significant drop in anxiety..." So choose a blanket that is the right weight for your body and use it while you sleep or relax. I put this in the "intermediate" category due to cost. Weighted blankets are not cheap, but there is a range in cost, so you might find something in your price range. How do weighted blankets help reduce feelings of anxiety? This is my hunch - anxiety can feel out of control. Weighted blankets can help reduce anxiety by giving you a feeling of containment. If you want something more academic, here you go - "Weighted blankets provide deep touch pressure stimulation, which has both physical and psychological advantages. Deep pressure stimulation affects the nervous system by increasing serotonin and melatonin concentrations while decreasing cortisol levels. This creates a calming effect, which may minimize stress, induce sleep and increase feelings of well-being." ( ScienceDirect ) When you should use weighted blankets to reduce anxiety: This study found weighted blankets helpful in an inpatient psychiatric facility. So if they're useful in an intensive setting like that, they will potentially benefit you in your own home. Weighted blankets can be helpful for mild to severe anxiety. I recommend using one as part of a "regulation station" that you pre-plan. Meaning having things ready beforehand that you know reduces your anxiety. Your regulation station could include the following: a weighted blanket that you know works for you aromatherapy fidgets calming music 5 Advanced Anxiety Management Skills: These 5 advanced anxiety management skills are less easily accessible but may be required if your level of anxiety is detrimental to your health and daily living. Each of these requires practice, lifestyle changes, financial investment or professional assistance. The 5 advanced anxiety management skills are: work with a therapist or counselor practice trauma-relieving meditative techniques join an anxiety support group consider medication with a psychiatrist use biofeedback 17. Seek professional therapy or counseling to manage anxiety: Professional therapy or counseling can help you work through anxiety and develop coping strategies to manage your symptoms. My therapy clients often eliminate or reduce their anxiety so much that it's a non-factor in their daily life. Therapy is great, but sadly, not always easily accessible. Private pay therapy is expensive, often $200/session. Therapy through insurance is possible, but you may get a group educational model or a checklist of interventions. The medical model of therapy focuses on symptom reduction and management, like through a county program. And insurance providers are highly impacted with therapy requests, potentially leaving you on a waitlist. How does therapy help reduce anxiety? Therapy can help in many ways to reduce anxiety. Here is a short list of potential therapeutic benefits: providing co-regulation providing a safe environment providing a nonjudgmental relationship emotional processing identifying triggers and solutions developing coping mechanisms reframing negative thinking patterns When you should seek therapy to reduce anxiety: If anxiety disrupts your daily functioning, it might be time to seek professional help. Daily functioning would include things like: workplace or academic performance relationships and socialization self-compassion and growth 18. Practice trauma-relieving meditative techniques to reduce anxiety. Persistent anxiety may be a present-day symptom of previous traumatic life events. It's possible to practice self-regulation techniques to alleviate stuck trauma in the body. This is not easy and should be done after having sufficiently built the strength of the vagal brake. This type of work is innate within each of us, though humanity has largely lost its capacity to do so. Consequently, we need to relearn how to use these self-regulatory practices. This can be costly, like through online courses, therapy or coaching. How do meditative practices help relieve trauma and lower anxiety? If your anxiety stems from underlying trauma, then if you relieve the trauma, your anxiety will also relieve. Your body may be stuck in a state of flight due to life circumstances, like a childhood environment or something you went through. However, you need to address the underlying stuck flight state as the primary factor, which will reduce or even eliminate the feelings of anxiety you experience. Trauma-informed meditative practices like UDS bring the conscious experience of self-regulation needed to relieve the stuck flight state. When you should use trauma-informed meditative practices to reduce anxiety: These practices are best used daily as part of a routine. Besides meditative experiences to feel and relieve anxiety, building the strength of your safety state is even more critical. The only structured practice I am aware of for that is Building Safety Anchors . 19. Join an anxiety support group to help relieve anxiety. Joining a support group can provide you with a sense of community and support. In addition, you can connect with others going through similar experiences and learn from their experiences. You can find free online support groups or forums to feel less alone in your anxiety. Your insurance provider may have a resource for groups as well. How do support groups help to lower anxiety? Feeling connected to others is hugely important in life, for every single one of us. But we lose connection with others when we exist in anxiety or other defensive state emotions. And being alone in anxiety can make things worse. Connecting with people who share similar experiences can be validating and normalizing. You may also get resources from each other to further assist with lowering anxiety. When you should join an anxiety support group: When you have mild to severe anxiety, I think connecting with others is a good idea. However, when you seek a support group, remember that you can try it out and leave if it's not a good fit for you. 20. Consider medication under a doctor's or psychiatrist's guidance to reduce anxiety. I was taught in therapy school that medication is a last resort, though now it seems to be the go-to first-line intervention. I know the above interventions can be beneficial, but I don't dismiss that medication has its uses. And many studies have shown this. Talk to your doctor or psychiatrist about whether medication might be a good option for you. How does medication help reduce anxiety? NAMI says "Psychiatric medications influence the brain chemicals that regulate emotions and thought patterns. They're usually more effective when combined with psychotherapy. In some cases, medicines can reduce symptoms so other methods of a treatment plan can be more effective." When you should use medication to reduce anxiety: Talk with your doctor or psychiatrist about this and create a treatment plan together. 21. Use biofeedback techniques to monitor and manage your anxiety levels: Biofeedback is a technique where you use electronic devices to monitor your body's response to stress. With biofeedback, you can learn to control your heart rate and breathing to promote relaxation and reduce anxiety. This meta-analysis showed biofeedback to be generally helpful, though there is no current evidence for use in-home. Biofeedback is not something that is easily accessible to most. How does biofeedback help reduce anxiety? The Mayo Clinic says "Biofeedback helps you make slight changes in your body, such as relaxing muscles, to help relieve pain or reduce tension. You may be able to decrease your heart rate and breathing, which can make you feel better. Biofeedback can give you the skills to practice new ways to control your body. This can improve a health problem or help make daily activities easier. Easily Manage Anxiety in Your Daily Life These 5 practical tips will help you to manage anxiety in your daily life. Each one is easily accessible and doesn't cost a thing! Q&A Q: Can my anxiety actually get better? A: Generally speaking, anxiety can improve. It's not a guarantee I can give to anyone in particular. Still, my therapy clients have improved or eliminated their anxiety problems. You can manage anxiety through coping skills, but you can also potentially eliminate it through somatic mindfulness practices. My UDS course teaches you how to feel and relieve your negative emotions, such as anxiety. Q: What are the three best options from this list that I can use today? A: My anxiety-reducing recommendations from this blog that you can use immediately are: mindfully breathe into your belly and extend your exhale. get up and move regularly, taking breaks for mindful movement. get in nature or surround yourself with greenery that provides you with passive cues of safety. Q: Can meditation really help with anxiety recuction? A: Yes! Meditation can be super helpful. Set up a routine to meditate daily or use meditation when you're feeling anxious to reduce the intensity of the emotion. Surround yourself with passive cues of safety to boost the effect of meditation. Author Bio: Justin Sunseri is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He is the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast and author of the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm . He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.

You might be wondering if your past is still affecting you today. The answer is always "yes," but to what extent? If you live in a traumatized state, you might be surprised at how your past experiences still shape who you are today and how you experience your daily life. And is it possible to overcome trauma? I think so. I'm a therapist and coach that specializes in trauma recovery. My clients make significant changes, including recovering from their traumatized state. And I also regularly hear from my audience about how their life has changed from my free content. I can't make guarantees for you, but I think that trauma can generally be overcome to live a life of more hope, confidence, and connection. I'll provide some next steps for your trauma recovery at the end of this blog. Jump to a section: what is trauma? emotional impact of trauma cognitive impact of trauma physical impact of trauma behavioral impact of trauma overcoming the impact of trauma What is trauma? Trauma is typically defined as an experience that overwhelms a person's ability to cope, leaving them feeling helpless, powerless, and vulnerable. It can be a single event or a series of events that cause significant distress. But we can take our understanding of trauma one step further. Trauma is not an event that someone went through (like an assault) or events that should have happened that didn't happen (healthy attachment with a caregiver). Instead, it is the impact of those on that person. More specifically, how the event impacts the state of their autonomic nervous system (ANS). The ANS can be in one of 3 basic states: social engagement flight/fight mobility shutdown immobility According to the revolutionary neuroscience of the Polyvagal Theory , trauma is the inability to shift out of a defensive state and into the body's state of safety and social connection. Someone who is traumatized lives in a perpetual state of defense or is easily triggered into that state of defense by things that are reminders of what they went through. Importance of Addressing Trauma Since a traumatized individual is existing in a defensive state, their basic daily functioning may negatively change in numerous domains: emotional cognitive physical behavioral Ignoring trauma can lead to long-term negative consequences. It can affect a person's ability to function in daily life and lead to a host of physical and mental health problems. This article explores 23 surprising ways trauma can impact your life and provides tips on overcoming them. 6 Emotional Impacts of Trauma Here are six emotional impacts of trauma that you may be experiencing. This list is not exhaustive: anxiety depression anger fear guilt shame 1. Anxiety Trauma can lead to feelings of anxiety that can range from mild to severe. " Individuals who have experienced trauma may experience anxiety in a variety of forms from an increase in generalized worries to panic attacks" ( ADAA ). Other common anxious experiences may be constantly on edge, worrying excessively, and having trouble sleeping. If the Polyvagal perspective is true and trauma is the impact of an event on one's ANS, then anxiety would make sense as one being stuck in a defensive state of flight. This person is prepared for mobility, to escape danger, and get to safety. However, they are stuck in this state. Therefore, they experience anxiety chronically. If you struggle with anxiety management, I wrote a mega blog of 21 ways to reduce your anxiety ranked by difficulty. 2. Depression A traumatized state can also lead to depression. People stuck in trauma commonly feel sad and hopeless and lose interest in activities they used to enjoy. They may also experience changes in appetite and sleep patterns. In adults with chronic depression, there is a strong history of childhood trauma - 75.6% of the chronically depressed patients reported clinically significant histories of childhood trauma. 37% of the chronically depressed patients reported multiple childhood traumatization. Experiences of multiple trauma also led to significantly more severe depressive symptoms. ( NIH ) From the Polyvagal Theory lens, depression again makes sense. If an autonomic nervous system is stuck in a state of shutdown immobilization, the person will experience depression. The body is in a state of conservation. It is biologically slowing down in an attempt to appear dead in a life-threatening situation. This podcast episode creates a clear link between the Polyvagal Theory and depression. 3. Anger Trauma can also lead to chronic anger and rage. In this case, the body is stuck in a Polyvagal state of fight. It is prepared to be aggressive and enclose space. Doing so against a danger may cause the danger to back up, creating enough space for the aggressor to flee the situation. However, one can get stuck in fight and feel chronically angry. The overall prevalence of inappropriate, intense, or poorly controlled anger in the U.S. population was 7.8%. Anger was especially common among men and younger adults, and was associated with decreased psychosocial functioning. Significant and positive associations were evident between anger and parental factors, childhood, and adulthood adverse events. ( NIH ) To reduce anger, check out this blog article that describes what anger is and how to reduce it emotionally and cognitively. 4. Fear Trauma can leave a person constantly feeling on guard and fearful. They may be afraid of the same situation happening again, and this fear can be debilitating. In the video below, I share a story about a police officer who felt fear while sitting in his squad car and explain why. Fear is the conscious experience of being unable to act on one's sympathetic flight/fight energy. In trauma, this activation is often frozen into the system through forced immobilization. If so, the flight/fight activation may stay locked in the body for years. The frozen flight/fight is easily triggered through cues similar to the situation that traumatized the individual. For example, when someone unexpectedly hugs a sexual assault survivor, their frozen flight/fight energy may trigger, and they may enter into a rage or a panic. 5. Guilt People who live in trauma may feel guilty, which I have always found peculiar. But it's complex. Guilt suggests wrongdoing. In my work with traumatized individuals, they are not at fault for what got them into a traumatized state. Oftentimes, they may feel that they could have done something differently to prevent the trauma from happening. Or they may have been manipulated into thinking they were willingly partaking in something. Or, after the truth came out, the person may have been taught that they were the cause of something, like a family friend going to prison. None of these should result in one feeling guilty. However, these are often imposed upon a child. And children tend to blame themselves and take on the emotions of others. Since a child's psyche is still developing, they tend to see the world revolving around them. This means that if there's something wrong, they tend to think it's somehow related to them, that perhaps it's their fault. ( PsychCentral ) This meta-analysis found that "...guilt predicts PTSD when assessed both within days and after several months following the traumatic event, [suggesting] that guilt plays a significant role in the onset and maintenance of PTSD." The analysis suggests that guilt is instrumental in continuing one's traumatic state. 6. Shame Like guilt, shame is a common experience of those living with trauma. I see that my clients often confuse shame and guilt. Guilt is the experience of doing something wrong in your behavior or choices. Shame is an experience that you are wrong or broken as a person. Shame often comes with feelings of disgust, grossness, or dirtiness. Shame is very often a result of sexual trauma. It is possible that certain interpersonal traumas, for example, those occurring early in development or those involving coercive (but not forceful) sexual victimization perpetrated by a known and/or trusted perpetrator, may be more likely to lead to strong emotions of anger and shame as compared with heightened levels of fear that would likely accompany a trauma characterized by acute physical threat. ( NIH ) This podcast episode teaches about shame and its connection with the Polyvagal Theory. 7 Cognitive Impacts of Trauma Here are seven cognitive impacts of trauma that you may be experiencing. This list is not exhaustive: memory loss difficulty concentrating negative self-talk flashbacks intrusive thoughts mistrust of others mistrust of self 7. Memory Loss Surviving traumatic incidents often has negative impacts on memory. This includes the memories of the incidents and general memory in daily functioning. Memory disturbances are predominant in the presentation of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and are part of the diagnostic criteria. 1 The re-experiencing symptom criteria of PTSD include intrusive memories of the traumatic event, and the avoidance symptom criteria include the inability to recall important aspects of the trauma. In addition, patients with PTSD often complain of experiencing everyday memory problems with emotionally neutral material... ( NIH ) Memory difficulties cannot be simply assigned to psychological disturbances like "denial," but have biological underpinnings to them. Memory deficits appear to be most related to abnormalities in the hippocampus and hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, and the prefrontal cortex and catecholamine system. 8. Difficulty Concentrating People who live in trauma may have trouble concentrating on tasks or focusing on what is in front of them. For example, a student who cannot focus on the multiple choice question and instead stares ahead blankly at the screen, thinking of other things. Patients with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) often describe difficulties with concentration, attention, and memory. Poorer performance on tests of attention, declarative memory, and other cognitive domains attributable to PTSD status have been found... ( NIH ) This could be due to existing in a defensive Polyvagal state. One must exist in their body's state of safety and connection to focus, think critically, and retain information. If not, their body is prepared to run, fight or shut down. These defensive states are not conducive to concentration and other brain executive functions. I collected all of my free content on the safety state in the free Members' Center Safety Learning Hub. This is a great free resource collection to deepen your learning on safety. 9. Negative Self-Talk is an Impact of Trauma Trauma can lead to negative self-talk and self-blame. People who have experienced trauma may have thoughts like: "I'm unlovable. Something is wrong with me." “I can't do anything right." "Nothing good will happen for me; why bother trying?" On top of that, these individuals may have negative projections about their future. Someone living with trauma may expect failure and see no point in putting effort into their recovery or the opportunities they do have. These cognitions would likely come from a Polyvagal shutdown. One avenue to decrease negative self-talk could be through emotional validation . Doing so may diminish the intensity of the negative cognitions and the negative emotions driving the thoughts. 10. Flashbacks Flashbacks are a common symptom of trauma. People who have experienced trauma may feel like they are reliving the traumatic event, even if they are in a safe place. Flashbacks are not simply a narrative recollection of a past event, but a reliving of it. They are probably connected with the frustrated impulse to run or fight. This fMRI study found that "...the increased activations in numerous areas of motor cortex suggest that flashbacks are a form of memory that facilitates action on the environment (such as fight or flight)." This makes sense as the flight/fight sympathetic energy is frozen into the system during acute traumatic incidents. The impulse to run or fight is frozen when immobilized through force or immobilized through a simultaneous dorsal vagal shutdown. 11. Intrusive Thoughts People who have experienced trauma may have intrusive thoughts - unwanted and distressing thoughts that can be difficult to control. Harvard says , "Whatever the content, it’s often unsettling and may bring on feelings of worry or shame. The more you try to push the thought from your mind, the more it persists." Examples of intrusive thoughts could be: flashbacks of traumatic events obscene or unwanted sexual thoughts thoughts of harm to self or others obsessions with disease or contamination 12. Mistrust of others Living in a traumatized state can negatively impact one's trust in others. This study found that "... higher levels of [childhood maltreatment] were associated with higher levels of distrust..." Traumatized individuals have less capacity for connection and social engagement if they exist in a defensive state of flight, fight, shutdown, or freeze. Trust is an experience of vulnerability and connection with another, necessitating some access to one's Polyvagal safety state. This may also stem from a traumatized individual's decreased ability to identify safety in others. When existing in a defensive state, the person is more likely to identify danger cues. Of course, safety cues from their past, like gentle touch and eye contact, may have been mixed with traumatic experiences. For example, sexual abuse may be connected with gift-giving and a feeling of connection. This distortion of safety likely will result in the victim's distrust of others later in their life, even when others present with co-regulative safety cues . 13. Mistrust of self Living in a traumatized state can lead to a profound mistrust of oneself. Those affected may doubt their emotions, thoughts, and decision-making abilities. The mistrust of self may also be directly connected to the reactions of others. For example, the child that is taught they are making up an abuse story when they report it to a trusted adult. Likewise, when traumatic memories resurface, the individual may doubt or question how real they were. They may genuinely not know and be confused and mistrusted in what they are potentially recalling. Trauma disrupts one's connection with their internal experiences (their SSIEC ) . Emotions become difficult to understand and trust, leaving individuals questioning the validity of their feelings. Intrusive thoughts and distorted memories further erode confidence in their thoughts and perception of reality. Making decisions becomes challenging due to fear and self-doubt, as trauma shatters their sense of safety and confidence. 5 Physical Impacts of Trauma Here are five physical impacts of trauma that you may be experiencing. This list is not exhaustive: sleep disturbances chronic pain fatigue gastrointestinal issues changes in appetite 14. Sleep Disturbances Trauma can lead to sleep disturbances, including difficulty falling asleep, nightmares, and waking up frequently at night. Difficulty falling asleep may be due to being stuck in a defensive state of flight, fight or freeze. All of these defensive states involve some level of mobilization or fear. Immobilizing in stillness is difficult, resulting in laying awake in bed with racing thoughts or nightmares. Nightmares are common among trauma survivors experiencing PTSD. Between 71 and 96 percent of people living with PTSD have nightmares multiple times per week; when people also have other mental disorders such as depression or anxiety, the likelihood of nightmares increases (National Center for PTSD, 2015). ( Healthy Place ) In shutdown, the individual may get too much sleep as they are in a conservation state with little energy. 15. Chronic Pain Trauma can lead to chronic pain disorders. I found this fact from the US Dept. of Veteran Affairs interesting - Approximately 15% to 35% of patients with chronic pain also have PTSD. Only 2% of people who do not have chronic pain have PTSD. The Polyvagal Theory may provide some insight into pain and trauma. When in danger, the body loses access to its safety state and prepares for mobilization, like running or fighting. However, when this activation continues long-term, there may be negative health-related repercussions, including the experience of pain. Regarding childhood trauma and pain, "when this response remains highly activated in a child for an extended period of time without the calming influence of a supportive parent or adult figure, toxic stress occurs and can damage crucial neural connections in the developing brain" ( Harvard ). To build on this idea, Practical Pain Management says, "Human brains work better when they are allowed to develop in safe and nurturing environments, and human bodies experience less pain when they are allowed to receive input from a healthy brain." 16. Fatigue Fatigue is another common symptom experienced by individuals living in trauma. Again, this seems connected to the body's inability to self-regulate from a stuck flight/fight response. The stress-response system in general, and the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis in particular, may play a role in the association between [Chronic Fatigue Syndrome] and PTSD. Both animal and human studies have shown that traumatic early life stressors may permanently change the stress response system in ways that leave affected individuals more prone to the effects of other stressors and to stress-related disorders. ( NIH ) Depression would be connected to the body's dorsal vagal shutdown immobility response. This is a state of conservation, resulting in feeling low motivation, disinterest, and lots of sleep. Chronic fatigue can look like depression . But there are some key differences: Exercise may make chronic fatigue worse, whereas it may improve depression. Chronic fatigue is expressed with intense frustration, depressive fatigue is experienced with anhedonia and low motivation. Chronic fatigue patients report being weaker and with more pain than those with depression. Chronic fatigue patients report sore throat and tender lymph nodes. 17. Gastrointestinal Issues Trauma can significantly affect a person's digestive system, leading to stomachaches, diarrhea, and other gastrointestinal issues. In PTSD, your body's "fight or flight" response is frequently activated, releasing a substance in the brain called corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF). Among other things, CRF increases mucus and water secretion in your colon and disrupts colon motility (speed of muscle contraction). It's likely, then, that high levels of CRF contribute to the development of IBS in people with PTSD. ( VeryWellMind ) 18. Changes in Appetite Many - if not the majority - of my traumatized therapy clients have reported changes in their appetite. Some report that they don't feel hungry and can go a day or two without eating. Others have told me that they use eating as a means of coping. Though they aren't hungry, it just helps them feel less dysregulated and calm their negative emotional experience, something called a" behavioral adaptation " . The scientific literature provides clear evidence that negative emotions and maladaptive emotion regulation strategies play a role in the onset and maintenance of binge eating... Poor mood appears to precede binge-eating episodes and... binge eating may be an attempt to down-regulate this emotional distress. ( Journal of Eating Disorders ) Reductions in appetite may occur in a shutdown state, as the body is in a conservation mode and does not need to take in as many resources. 5 Behavioral Impacts of Trauma Here are five behavioral impacts of trauma that you may be experiencing. This list is not exhaustive: isolation avoidance self-destructive behaviors aggression substance abuse 19. Isolation Experiencing trauma can lead to a tendency to isolate oneself from others. Isolation can be a symptom of a Polyvagal defensive state. From flight, one needs space and may avoid others. In shutdown, there is usually an impulse to be alone and with lower stimulation. There is less capacity for social engagement in a defensive state, resulting in isolation. 20. Avoidance Trauma can lead to avoidance behaviors, where individuals avoid situations or people that remind them of the traumatic event. These contexts may trigger the frozen impulse to run or fight from a specific traumatic event. This impulse may be frozen in the system and not play a significant role in the individual's daily functioning. However, in those certain contexts. it gets triggered. This could leave someone in a crisis, like a panic attack. 21. Self-Destructive Behaviors Trauma can lead to self-destructive behaviors, though I argue these may be the individual's best attempts at regulating their traumatized state. No, these behaviors do not improve their lives and will probably result in more problems across their domains. However, these behaviors probably result in an immediate benefit, like feeling connection, alleviation of numbness, or reduction in emotional dysregulation. Therapy clients commonly report that self-destructive behaviors serve a purpose for them, even though it does not bring about meaningful change or increased happiness. Self-destructive behaviors may include, but are definitely not limited to: substance abuse self-harm risky sexual behavior 22. Aggression Experiencing trauma can also lead to increased aggression, either verbally or physically. This could be in a spousal relationship, in a workplace boss to subordinates relationship, or in schoolyard bullying. Each of these dominant individuals might be stuck in their aggressive fight state or an explosive rage from a fight-flavored freeze state. Perhaps frustratingly, these aggressive behaviors reinforce the aggression, as these behaviors create more problems for the individual. "Following a traumatic experience, some people may engage in aggressive behaviors, which in turn may lead to an increased rate of interpersonal conflicts and even social malfunctioning" ( Scientific Reports ). 23. Substance Abuse Substance abuse should be considered a "self-destructive behavior," as in number 21 above. However, it deserves its own space. Drug and alcohol use are common means of "coping" with the dysregulation of trauma. Some facts about PTSD and substance use are: those with PTSD have higher rates of substance use than those without PTSD. those with PTSD were more likely to have an [Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)] or [Non Alcohol Substance Use Disorder (NA-SUD)- than those without PTSD. Endorsement of a greater number of traumas was associated with greater odds of having PTSD, AUD, or NA-SUD. Experience of interpersonal trauma was related to greater odds of having PTSD and subsequent AUD or NA-SUD than not experiencing interpersonal trauma. Multiple experiences of interpersonal trauma compared to one interpersonal trauma exposure also increased the odds of having PTSD followed by AUD or NA-SUD. My therapy clients with a substance abuse history can consistently connect their use to an attempt to deal with their internal world: emotions, thoughts, and sensations. Substances provide an escape from their pains. They may also provide a pseudo-social context if used with others. Overcoming the Impact of Trauma Trauma does not need to be permanent. You may have noticed that many (if not all) of these 23 ways trauma can impact you may have something in common. They stem from Polyvagal state dysregulation. The primary factor in all of these is a lack of self-regulation and the inactivation of the safety state. If trauma is being stuck in a defensive state, then relieving trauma would be getting unstuck from that defensive state. Accessing and maintaining the social engagement system would indicate one is less traumatized or they have even recovered from trauma. Is it possible generally? Yes. Is it easy? No. To recover from trauma, there are three main phases: Phase 1: Build a new understanding. It helps to learn new pieces of information to help reframe or build a new narrative about yourself. I recommend learning about attachment, family systems, and the Polyvagal Theory. Most people get stuck in this stage, endlessly absorbing new information about trauma and psychological concepts. Phase 2: Build your safety state. To relieve trauma and get unstuck, you need to access and build the strength of your safety state. This allows more present-moment potential and unlocks self-regulation. This middle phase is essential and constantly neglected in most therapy modalities and psychology models. Phase 3: Get unstuck through self-regulation. In this step, you purposely allow and experience the stuck defensive state while anchoring in your safety state. Self-regulation occurs as a result. This process may take repeated attempts as the trauma relieves little by little. This step is often rushed into and runs the risk of re-traumatization. The Polyvagal Trauma Relief System addresses all of these needs. I created PTRS , a three-phased system that walks you through all three of the pieces above. It teaches you the Polyvagal Theory clearly and simply. It teaches you how to feel and build the strength of your safety state. And finally, it teaches you how to allow your defensive state activation lovingly but then release the trauma. PTRS is intended to be a comprehensive system. It's jam-packed with all of the trauma-relieving knowledge and practices necessary for self-regulation. In fact, Beth had this to say - PTRS is based on human biology and is a system that can stand on its own. I've used pieces of other psychological concepts out there, but have never come across one that can stand on its own. Seek help. No matter what you decide to do to relieve your trauma, please seek out some help. Help can come in many different ways, like these: therapy or coaching support groups meditation medication Understand Trauma Deeply This blog article teaches you deeply about trauma, helping you to lay the foundation for that first phase of trauma recovery: knowledge-building. Read more here > Q&A Q: What is the impact of trauma on daily life? A: Trauma can have significant emotional, cognitive, physical, and behavioral impacts. It can lead to anxiety, depression, memory loss, sleep disturbances, and even physical pain, plus a lot more. Q: Can trauma be overcome? A: It's generally possible to overcome trauma with the right strategies and support. This involves understanding the impact of trauma, building the safety state, and learning to self-regulate. Q: What resources are available for overcoming trauma? A: Various resources are available, including therapy, support groups, meditation, and medication. The Polyvagal Trauma Relief System (PTRS) is a comprehensive system that can help individuals understand and overcome trauma. Author Bio: Justin Sunseri is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Coach specializing in trauma relief. He is the host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast and author of the book Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm . He specializes in treating trauma and helps individuals get "unstuck" from their defensive states.