Play & Stillness / episode 7 Show Notes
Updated: Mar 28
PLAY
Safe & Social + Flight & Fight = Play
Face to face signals safety
Shared attention - Focus on the same thing or common point of interest like a puzzle or soccer ball
Play is reciprocal and synchronous
Shared, safe and in same bodily State
Exercises the ability to shift up and down the ladder
Using mobility with safety
MOBILIZATION WITHOUT SAFETY
For traumatized individuals, play may activate the defense systems without the ability to co-regulate
Depends on their play history
“Doesn’t play well with others.”
Kids that push the limit of acceptable play
“Accidentally hurt someone”
Won’t have guilt (social engagement system isn't as available)
WHY IS MOBILIZATION UNSAFE?
Anything is unsafe without safety state
The State of flight and fight is used when things aren’t safe, but it needs the Safe & Social system to be active. Otherwise, it’s an increased heart rate
Environment becomes a threat without the safety to keep it in check
STILLNESS
Social Engagement + Shut Down = Stillness
Stillness without Fear, Sitting in silence, Self-reflection, Using the restroom, Intimacy with a partner, Sleeping
Traumatized people experience a body perception of danger when still
STILLNESS WITHOUT SAFETY
An inability to tolerate stillness/quiet for those down the ladder
Sitting still is unsafe
Classroom environment is unsafe: people, sounds, pressure, falling behind in class, feeling dumb, teacher comments/sarcasm
Meditation becomes unsafe
Closing eyes = dark, inward = danger, in a group especially
Sleep is unsafe
Anxiety feelings that lead to anxiety thoughts
About the next day or the previous day, something you didn’t do, panic about not falling asleep
Trauma memories, flashbacks and feelings
Plus darkness is a cue in itself of danger, also being alone
WHY IS STILLNESS UNSAFE?
Anything is unsafe without the social engagement system active
Being still means being open to a predator
“Story follows State”
Your thoughts and feelings will match the State you are in
COPING WITH STILLNESS
Sleep
Tv on, using a substance
Classroom
Behavior problems to avoid the stillness and unsafe feelings
Creating the external world to match the internal
Make the environment match the story which matches the state
