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Justin Sunseri, LMFT

Change Sucks and Mercedes' Final Episode / ep48.1 show notes

Updated: Mar 27, 2020


TOPIC - CHANGE

  • Major change to the podcast - Mercedes is leaving :(

  • Change is hard. We all know that. But why?


The unknown - We like to know what’s coming up. Change pretty much means unknown

  • Inherently anxiety producing


Vagal brake is very much needed for change

  • To handle the anxiety of the unknown playfully, curiously

  • Need social engagement system


Otherwise the unknown is looked at with evaluation

  • Flight energy = anxiety, handled with evasion

  • Fight energy = threat, handled with aggression

  • Shutdown lack of energy = resigned to it, ‘accepting’ of change, lack of belief in creating change


Safety in knowing, even when it’s painful

  • Knowing what it’s like to be depressed, who you are versus who you will become


The experience of climbing the ladder is scary/uncomfortable

  • Shutdown to sympathetic is scary

  • New energy, not knowing cognitively how to handle it

  • Not having the tolerance to handle it, a bodily knowing


There’s familiarity in shutdown

  • The surge of new energy can feel like panic/dying

  • Sympathetic to safety is scary


Getting reliant on that edge of fight energy

  • Has been means of survival, letting go of it might feel like literal vulnerability


Being in the ventral state is anxiety producing at first: new eye contact, new proximity


Need to be curious of the process, not the result

  • The podcast is the process, not the result

  • Just curious about where it goes next

  • Drawing is about the process, not the result (for me)

  • The experience of it, getting lost in the imagination or the shapes or the lines; just feeling it



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