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Jun 18

19: Therapy Basics for Clients

11 comments

Edited: Jun 27

I'm pretty proud of this episode (despite the absolute monster it was to edit. Mercedes). I think we did a really nice overview and managed to give a lot of clarity. One of the most important pieces for me was explicitly stating that therapy is a service. We have standards we should be meeting for you, the client. I really liked taking some of the fanciness out of the therapeutic pedestal.

Hey! It takes TWO to tango buddy - I wasn’t laughing by myself! And, as I recall, I had all of MY settings tuned correctly... Justin. Aside from that, I’m pretty proud of this episode, too. I like providing education and understanding to people, especially about what I do as a therapist. As we said in the episode, therapy should be a transparent process. I think we shone a light on some of the parts that may have previously been a bit of a mystery. I hope so, at least.

Jun 26

Hey Justin and Mercedes! I'm fairly new to the podcast and I love it! I find it to be super valuable.

I'd like to share my bad therapy experience if that's ok. Here goes....... So, 3 weeks ago, I started working w/ an SE practitioner. In the first session, I was trying to give her some background as to why I was there, and she kept interrupting me with chit-chatty type comments, which really irritated me, because it would throw me off track and I'd lose my train of thought. At the end of the session, I asked if I could give some feedback (she didn't ask me to), and she said yes, so I told her that I'd love to be able to talk without being interrupted. She said ok and that she'd keep that in mind going forward. The next week, it happened once, and I was irritated, but I let it go. Well, yesterday, which was my 3rd appointment, it kept happening again as I was telling her about a mini trauma that I'd had in the past week. I felt my body going into flight/fight every time it happened, so finally, when she did it again, I stopped and said "This is an example of interruption", and she apologized. Then we tried to get back to the original thing, but I just couldn't be present and I felt like crying. So I told her that I had to be honest w/ her and told her that. Then I just burst into tears. When I stopped crying, we discussed it - it took the rest of the fucking (oops sorry) session to process and discuss it w/ her. And then it was time to stop. Ugh. I felt like I'd been retraumatized - I realized that the reason why I burst into tears was because the interruptions reminded me of not being heard by my mom when I was growing up. Anyway, at the end, she said that she'd try really hard to not do it again but that she wasn't perfect and might accidentally mess up. Upon reflection after leaving, I've decided that I can't risk being traumatized again in a session and will not continue with her. How ironic that I went to a trauma expert and ended up being retraumatized by her, haha. Why aren't therapists taught basic listening 101?????? Even I know not to interrupt when someone is spilling their guts out to me.

 

Whew! Thank you for letting me vent. :-)

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks so much for the comment and sharing your experience with therapy. Sounds like you did your end of the deal and she wasn’t able to follow through. So frustrating. I really hope you didn’t pay out of pocket!

Jun 26

Thank you. I did pay out of pocket, but oh well, at least I learned something - that being constantly interrupted by someone who's supposed to be good at listening is a trigger for me. :-)

Thank you for sharing your story! Your assertiveness and courage to talk to her about the interruptions is very admirable. Not everyone can do that. It sounds like she was open to your feedback, but it also seems like it was too late. You already felt retraumatized and that was after speaking up about it in a previous session. For the record, we are taught to listen - we are also taught to do active listening and supportive listening. There’s lots of focus on listening! I’m sorry that this was your experience but glad you felt safe to share it here. ❤️ And thank you for listening to the podcast! I’m so happy it brings you value!

Jun 26

Thank you! I've learned to do healthy conflict resolution the hard way, because suppressing stuff doesn't work!! :-) And yes, I know that many therapists listen very well - I've been to some of them :-) Too bad this one didn't, as I did like her insights when she wasn't interrupting.

You guys are awesome and I'm going to binge listen to the rest of the episodes!

Jun 26

Oh, and Mercedes - you have the best name ever!!! Mercedes Corona! And, I don't know how old you are, but didn't you say you've been married for 20 years? You DO look MUCH younger! :-)

Thanks! It is pretty cool. ☺️ Lol! Justin didn’t believe me that people tell me that all the time (about my age). Hahahaha!

Jun 27

Oh gosh, I just read the community guidelines, and I apologize for my language above when I was telling my story. That won't happen again.

I had no problem with it lol. I know the guidelines say no vulgar language, but I won’t be actively censoring people here. If it crosses a line I’m not comfortable with, I probably will. But I’ll reserve that for when it’s really needed.

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